For Me, Only For Me

For Me, Only For Me

Title: For me, only for me (1/1)
Author: Daydreamer Slayer
Email: [email protected]
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: None of the Buffy characters belong to me, they belong to
Joss and co. As far as I know it's an original and my idea.
Summary: Looking back.
Distribution: At Fire and Ice (http://fireice.koolhost.com) everyone
else just ask.
Author's notes: It's the first short piece i've done, so i'd like to
know what you think of it.
Feedback: Please send.

***
Staring at the photo, my mind wanders back with ease. Perhaps too
easily. I don't know. It was one of those moments when time stands
still
and you never want it to end. Imprinted in your mind for eternity.

*Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But we're not.*

It was the Slayer's wedding, she'd eventually married Angel, his
soul was permanent and he had that ring. But you outshone the bride
with
your red hair cascading down your back in tiny ringlets. For me, only
for me.

*I play it off but i'm dreaming of you
I'll keep my cool but i'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near.*

Your green eyes shining like emeralds. For me, only for me. You
were
her maid of honour in that cream silk dress, showing off every curve.
For me, only for me. Your laughter ringing in the wind, like wind
chimes. For me, only for me.

*Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near.*

I tried to keep away, I couldn't live up to your expectations, I
couldn't give you the world, I couldn't be your light as you were mine.
But you brushed my negative thoughts away with kisses and promises.

*I may appear to be free
But i'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem allright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front.*

You reached for my hand, inviting me into your world. We danced, we
sang, we played. The love and adoration swimming in your eyes. For me,
only for me.

Xander was camera-happy not one moment was to be missed. Every
moment to last a lifetime. Our lifetime. We fell to the floor, the
grass
softening our fall.

*Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near.*

As I stared into your eyes, I wanted to hold you, protect you,
love you. For you to keep your innocence, your adoration. For me, only
for me. As long as you should live.

*Here is my confession
May I be your confession?
Boy I need your touch*

Time stood still. Pure happiness, real happiness. I stand over
you now, i'm still the man, the demon that you loved, I was there all
along bubbling underneath the surface. I love you, I always loved you,
i'll always love you.

*Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny*

When you died, I felt so much guilt, guilt for not being there,
guilt for what I was, guilt for being guilty. For two years I tried to
be the man you saw through your eyes. but i'm not, I wish I was.

I stand before you know for your forgiveness. I admit it, I need
you. I have no life without you. I kiss the photo and put it on your
grave. The photo, the memory. Your smile greets me. "For me, only for
me," I whisper before sticking the stake through my heart.

You stand before me hand outstretched. "Come with me Spike." I
take your hand and follow you into the light as the photo lightly
flutters away.

***