Tempestous Minds
Title: Tempestuous Minds
Author: Daydreamer Slayer
Email: [email protected]
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: None of the characters in the big Buffy universe belong to
me, they belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy, The WB and anyone else who has
claims on them. I'm borrowing them for a while but will return them.
Summary: The Scooby Gang are going on a journey but does somebody
really
know who they are?
Distribution: Just ask.
Author's notes: It's set before Angel decides to leave, Dru's dead
<sob>
and Spike's been roped into helping the gang. A short first piece.
Feedback: I love it along with every other writer, so please send some.
***
"Have I mentioned lately how much I love vacations?" Buffy asked the
others.
"Not in the last five seconds," Giles replied dryly.
"Well i'm gonna keep on saying it," she informed him cheerfully.
"Will they have proper doughnuts in Italy?" Xander asked worriedly.
"Nooo they'll be made of pasta. What do you think you bloody idiot,"
Spike replied sarcastically.
"How am I supposed to know? They're European, aren't they meant to eat
differently?"
Willow rolled her eyes. She wished they'd all shut up, she'd
have
plenty of time to escape them though on this trip. All those places to
visit
and those gorgeous Italian men. She blushed hoping no-one could hear
her
thoughts.
The mini-bus arrived at the docks where they were to catch
the
cruise ship to Italy. Leaving the mini-bus and the gang still
squabbling,
Willow sighed as she looked up at the ship, sparkling in the moonlight
and then back to the others. "This trip sure is going to be
unforgettable..."
***
Spike followed the others out of
the mini-bus. Why the hell he had
agreed to accompany the Slayer and her half-twit friends halfway across
the world, he didn't know. Glancing at Angel, he shook his head. Even
his bloody poof of a sire was coming along. He could never get away
from
all of them on a ship like this. Listening to them argue about how much
luggage was a good amount to have brought, he murmured under his
breath,
"At least it's going to be unforgettable."
******
Willow sighed as she felt the warm water
and bubbles envelope her as she settled back into the jacuzzi. This was
why she had come on holiday. Everyone had separated once they had got onto the
ship, so she had time to relax before
meeting the others for dinner. Breathing in deeply, she let the water soothe
away all the day's tension.
Suddenly a head came soaring through the water following
by a lean, pale white body. Willow screamed.
"Sorry luv, did I scare you?" Spike asked, a huge smile crossing his face.
"You... you..." she began.
"Idiot, wanker, sexy vampire..." he finished off for her.
Willow blushed but then started to fume again. "What the hell were you trying
to do? This is a jacuzzi not a
swimming pool."
"There's a difference?"
**
Spike watched Willow, amused at how when she got annoyed
she really got annoyed. Her face was turning the same
colour as her hair. "She's sweet when she's angry," he thought. All her innocence
seems to blow away.
***
Willow noticed Spike staring at her with a weird, amused
smile on his gorgeous face. Her stomach started to
flutter. "Oh, no." She thought, "Now is not the time to develop a crush on Spike.
"A crush?" She started to panic.
"On Spike? I've got to get out of here."
**
"If you're gonna make it to dinner, you two lovebirds had better get a move
on," Cordelia told them as she walked
past. Pruned after a massage and a manicure.
As she finished her sentence, Willow made a half no, half yelp sound and jumped
out of the jacuzzi and ran out of the
room.
"Did I say something wrong?" Cordelia asked Spike.
--
***
Willow stared at the clothes hanging
in her cabin's wardrobe. Buffy
insisted she bought new clothes, so she didn't recognize half of them.
Pushing to the back of her mind all thoughts of Spike that threatened
to
surface, she grabbed a pale pink dress and shrug that didn't look as
revealing as the others. Grimacing in front of the mirror, she
muttered,
"At least today can't get that much worse..." Before leaving the room.
***
The restaurant was dark and lit only
by low lights and candles. The
gang where all crowded around a table in the centre of the room. Spike
was sitting at the head, wearing his normal attire of black pants, red
shirt and black leather jacket. Willow gulped and made her way over to
them.
"Hi," she said sitting down.
"Wil-low," Cordy replied in shock, "Have you finally ditched the geek
wardrobe or what?"
"Well-" Willow began.
"I took her shopping," Buffy interrupted.
"You mean, you took her out and spent her money for her," Angel replied
teasingly.
"Did not," Buffy answered, playfully hitting him on the arm.
"You look great Will," Xander said.
"Thanks," Willow replied. Nervously she began twisting her napkin,
aware
of Spike's unfaltering gaze.
***
"What does the redhead think she's
doing?" Spike wondered to
himself."That dress is so... so flattering." His eyes travelled
downwards. He could smell her arousal. His cock began to harden.
"Spike!" He yelled mentally to himself. "Get some control, you do
anything to that witch and you won't leave this ship alive. But then
i'm
not alive anyway..."
***
Buffy noticed the two and smiled
inwardly, "Well what do we
have here? Seems that nobody's been telling Auntie Buffy everything,
well i'll have to see about that." Glancing at Angel she saw that he
too
had noticed but didn't look in the least bit surprised. Smiling she
turned and whispered in his ear, "Later you're gonna tell all..."
--
***
Somehow Willow managed to get through
the meal. Spike had
stopped staring at her and focused his attention on insulting Xander
and Buffy.
"Anyone wanna go see the nightclub?" Cordy asked the others, "It's
meant
to be the best place on the ship. It's got a mystical theme according
to
the brochure."
"Sure," the others agreed.
"I'm not sure i'd agree it's the best place on the ship. I'm rather
fond
of the jacuzzi myself. What would you say Red?" Spike asked Willow. His
blue eyes shone with a mocking innocence.
"What? Erm... I, I'd probably have to see the nightclub first. Before I
make any decisions that is," Willow said, stuttering a reply.
They left the table, Giles wandering
off to find a coffee bar
where he could read his book. Xander and Cordy followed and then Spike
getting closed down by Buffy and Angel. Willow wandered slowly after
them.
***
Spike felt an arm grab him and shove
him into the tv lounge as
he walked out of the restaurant. "What the hell..." He yelled.
"Time to 'fess up Spikey. You gonna tell Auntie Buffy what's going on
between you and Willow? Or do I have to force it out of you?" She
shoved
his further into the wall.
"Why what you gonna do? Stake me? I don't think Daddy here would be
best
pleased." He said taunting her.
"Don't try my PATIENCE!" Buffy replied, hitting him in the stomach with
her free hand.
"What am I going to do?" He wondered. "If I confess anything about
Willow that can in any way be interpreted, to mean that I like her.
Which I do, then... then..." He trailed off, lost in thinking mental
images of how many ways in which he could be killed or tortured.
"SPIKE!" Buffy yelled again.
***
As Willow walked past the room, she
heard Buffy yell. About to
walk in and find out what was happening. She stopped, hearing Spike's
voice.
"Why would I? A master vampire, be interested in some little witch like
Willow? I mean come on. She doesn't exactly turn heads where ever she
goes, does she?"
Willow blinked back tears. She knew
it had been too good to be
true, all the attention Spike had been giving her was probably out of
pity. The tears now flowing at full speed, she turned on her heel and
sped out of the hall and onto the boat deck. Not seeing the figure
coming the other way, she ran blindly into them.
"Woah," a voice said, "Where's a
pretty girl like you going in tears?"
--
***
Willow stared at the man standing
in front of her. His rusty
brown hair shone in the moonlight and his brown eyes reflected worry.
"Wow," she thought. Then remembering Spike's hurtful words she began to
sob again.
"Come on now, don't cry. Whatever it is, it's not worth crying about."
"He... he was sooo hurtful though."
"He probably didn't mean it."
"See, even you're sticking up for him."
"I'm not. Look, come with me and i'll buy you a nice bottle of wine and
you can tell me all about it. How does that sound?"
Willow was about to say no, when she realized. Here was a gorgeous man
offering to listen to her troubles and not make any judgements. She'd
be stupid to turn that down. Putting a watery smile on her face, she
replied, "I'd love to."
***
Spike was annoyed. That stupid bitch
had kept him there for
ages, questioning him as if he was some bloody criminal. The only
thought that had kept him from telling the truth was that he would be
able to go find Willow and admit his feelings. Well, maybe not straight
away. He's have some fun first. Whistling happily he went off to search
the ship for Willow.
***
"So i've known him for a couple of years. But we've never been really
close, hell i've never really had a proper conversation with him."
"He was with someone else then."
"I guess you could say he was in a long term relationship. But she's
dead now, went into the sun.. and had really bad burns... Lethal
actually."
"Maybe he was just scared of something new."
Willow snorted, "He's not the kind of guy who gets scared easily.
Anyway
he said stuff... about me. Really hurtful things."
"He might not have meant them."
"Oh he did." Willow twirled the glass in her hand and stared miserably
into its murky red depths.
"Well he doesn't deserve you then."
Willow heard a hush go over the room, looking up she saw Spike standing
in the doorway. His look radiated hurt and evil.
"Spike," she murmured.
--
***
Willow sighed, she really didn't
want to get into an argument
right now and the way in which Spike was charging over to their table
was unnerving her. Sitting straight and staring directly at him, she
prepared herself for what was to come.
***
What the hell did she think she was
doing? She was his. Sure he
hadn't claimed her as of yet. But she had no right to be sitting there
next to some rich bloke who was all over her. "I'll teach her who she
belongs to." He muttered under his breath.
***
"Spike, I wish I could say it's nice
to see you but it's not.
What are you doing here?" Willow asked unemotionally.
"Looking for YOU," he hissed.
"Really, you're interested in a little witch like me? Should I be
flattered?"
"What? I've chosen you, you belong to me."
"I think it's quite obviously that I belong to nobody. Least of all,
scum like you."
"Don't you dare speak to me like that. Who's your little friend here?
Paid him to sit with you and make me jealous? Or is he paying you for
something else? You stupid whore," Spike sneered.
"Excuse me," Andy interrupted, "But you shouldn't be talking that way
to
a nice woman like Willow. Will you please leave her alone you're
upsetting her."
"Am I Red? I could have sworn it's the other way around."
"Shut up, just shut up." Willow yelled tears in her eyes. "If you feel
anything for me at all leave now or i'll tell Buffy to enjoy herself,
throwing you into hell."
Spike relented seeing her tears. "Just remember this is not over," he
choked before running from the room.
***
"I'm sorry we had to leave early."
Willow said apologizing to
Andy. "Maybe we could meet up some other time and go for a walk?"
"That would be nice. Goodnight Willow," he replied, kissing her
forehead
before disappearing into the night.
Breaking back into fresh sobs, Willow opened her cabin door and threw
herself onto her bed.
***
Andy walked along to his cabin, thoughts
of Willow filling his
head. Suddenly a blue clothed arm reached out and grabbed him, pulling
him into the shadows.
--
***
"What?" Andy asked the woman, rubbing
his arm.
"You know just well what. You're job is to break the news to Willow,
not
to go after her."
"I wasn't, she was upset. I still don't know why i'm doing this."
"Because you owe me and you'd better well remember that the next time
you go doing things that weren't in the contract."
"Okay, okay."
"Well, what's she like?"
"Sweet, innocent. You'd love her. I'm going now, I need a bloody strong
drink after the shock you gave me.
The woman looked at the stars twinkling in the sky and murmured gently,
"I do love her. She is after all my daughter."
The figure spun around and walked swiftly away, her long red hair
swaying in the breeze.
***
Willow slept in late the next day
and it was early in the afternoon
that she eventually got up. After dressing she scoured the ship for the
others and found them all up on deck. Giles was as always, reading a
book. Cordy was impatiently telling Xander to hurry up putting the
suncream on her back, and would he please not get it in her hair too.
Buffy was messing about in the open air swimming pool with Andy.
"Willow, morning. Or should I say
good afternoon?" Giles asked,
amusement dancing in his eyes.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't feel like getting up." She replied, settling
down into a deckchair next to him.
"No need to apologize, this is your holiday as much as anyone else's."
"You're pretty relaxed. Not that you aren't normally relaxed but you're
a Watcher and you're tense and stuff... and i'm going to stop digging
myself into a big hole right now."
"I know what you mean. But so far there is no sign of anything strange
or evil. And i'm hoping it'll stay that way."
"WILLOW!" Buffy yelled from the side of the pool.
"Hey, Buffy" she replied as Buffy and Andy climbed out of the pool.
"Will, I want you to meet Andy. Andy this is Willow." Buffy said
introducing them.
"We've met," Willow replied shyly, wondering what the hell Andy thought
of her after last night.
"Yes and I promised you a walk along the boat deck. Shall we, that's if
you don't mind me kidnapping your friend for a while Buffy?" Andy said.
"Go ahead." Buffy answered.
The two made their excuses to the others and strolled off, deep in
conversation.
***
"Who IS he?" Cordy asked Buffy.
"Lets just say he's gorgeous, he's rich from what he told me about
himself, and he's VERY interested in Willow."
"Wonder what he does."
"Whatever it is I bet it's important. But then Will isn't interested."
"Does she have a mental problem?"
"No, but a crush on Spike."
--
***
Willow for the first time in 24 hours,
was happy. She'd spent
the day with Andy just hanging out and talking about anything and
everything. And now she was having dinner with him and her friends and
she'd been able to avoid Spike since the sun had set. Taking a sip of
wine, she smiled at a joke Xander was telling. "Life was getting
better..."
***
Spike was annoyed. He'd been annoyed
since he'd seen Willow with
that prat. And for the first time in ages, he'd hated being a vampire.
He'd been stuck in his cabin all day unable to come out. But the sun
had
set and now he would be able to see Willow and apologize. She had to
accept his apology. His life depended on it.
***
Spike had entered the room, that
Willow was sure of. She could
see the looks exchanged between her friends. They could be really sweet
at times but she didn't like the way they had avoided talking about
him.
Like they were frightened of saying something wrong. But even for all
that she was glad he hadn't been mentioned, she'd needed time to come
to
terms with everything.
"Hi Spike," Buffy said, welcoming him with false cheerfulness.
"Hi," Spike said back, equally as false and cheerful.
Willow could feel his gaze on her, "Hi," she replied.
"So what have you all been doing
today?" He asked through
clenched teeth, plastering a smile on his face as he listened to
Cordelia and Buffy drone on about their day and how they'd all met
Andy.
***
The meal went without hassle except
for the odd remark that was
ignored by everyone. Deciding to go show Willow the nightclub that she
had never seen the night before. They all went off in the direction of
the club.
"Willow is it okay if I speak to you?" Spike asked.
Looking at the others, she said softly, "It's ok i'll catch you up in a
minute." Turning her attention back to Spike she replied sharply,
"What?"
"I'm... i'm sorry if I have said anything to upset you luv, but I
didn't
mean it."
"Really, you were quite convincing in your conversation with Buffy and
Angel."
"What? You heard that?"
"Every word. And keep the apologies cause i don't want to hear them."
She said walking away.
"I was lying, dammit. Willow... WILLOW. Look at me, I would never mean
anything like that. You're beautiful and intelligent, and I don't
deserve you."
"Well you're right about that."
"Willow," he grabbed hold of her arms. "Don't walk away, I mean it."
"I don't care anymore."
"What, you like that Andy geezer?"
"What if I do?" She replied coldly, green eyes flashing.
"It means nothing, because he'll never be able to make you feel the way
I can make you feel."
"High opinions of yourself you've got-"
Her words were cut off as Spike kissed her roughly.
--
***
Willow leaned into Spike and the kiss. Emotions soared through
her
body, all the feelings pent up inside her now released in a kiss.
"Spike," she murmured, "SPIKE!" Willow pushed him back. But he wouldn't
let go, she pushed him harder.
When he finally moved away, Willow slapped him, How... how..."
her
words trailed off as she ran away from him.
"What did I do?" Spike groaned to himself.
***
"Why did he have to do that?" Willow sobbed, falling against
the
floor to the door. "After everything. I still love him." She stared at
a
single photo lying on her bedside table. It had been taken the year
before around her birthday. They'd all had such a good time, going to
the beach and having a moonlight picnic. The whole gang, together.
***
Buffy knocked against the door. She was annoyed. This was
the
second
night in a row Willow had failed to turn up at the nightclub. Meaning
she had lost even more quality time with Angel, and she was seriously
pissed off. The door opened slowly to reveal a puffy, mascara run,
red-faced Willow.
"I'll kill him!" Buffy yelled storming off. But as she rounded
the
corner, a leg was stuck out belonging a beautiful red-haired woman.
"No,
you don't." she muttered. Buffy tripped over the leg, falling in a heap
on the floor, unconscious.
***
Willow didn't know what to do. Buffy
had been gone for over an
hour and she hadn't heard a thing. Spike deserved to be killed, but...
but... it was hard to admit but, she loved him. And it was immoral to
sit back and let him be killed. She HAD kissed him back. "Can't let
Buffy do this, can't let Buffy do this," she repeated to herself over
and over again. Before running out of the room going in the opposite
direction Buffy had gone.
***
"No need to go mad!" Spike told himself
as he kicked the
furniture in his cabin. "Just a little mistake, plenty of time to put
it
right-" He was stopped in mid sentence as Willow burst into his cabin.
"Willow, I'm sorry," he began.
"Your suppost to be dust. What are you doing here? Buffy's not here?"
She said gasping for air.
"Should the stupid bitch be here?"
***
Willow struggled to focus on Spike.
Her head throbbed painfully,
grasping the handle of the door she tried to stay upright. "What the.."
she began before fainting and falling to the floor.
--
***
Willow slept on as Spike watched
over her. After she'd fallen
unconscious, he'd taken her back to her cabin, finding Buffy sprawled
on
the floor on the way. "What is it with unconscious women lately?" He
wondered. He'd tucked her into her bed and contacted the others. She'd
come in and out of consciousness and had been running up a high fever.
Thankfully now she was asleep.
He tucked a few strands of her wild
red hair that had fallen out
of her braid, behind her ears. "Willow, why does everything seem to go
wrong between us?" He asked her softly. Receiving no answer as
expected,
he made himself comfortable in the chair next to her bed and watched
on.
***
"Where am I," Willow wondered as
she observed her surroundings.
She was standing in a field of golden sunflowers. Yellow everywhere and
yet no yellow was the same as the next. The sun was shining and she
felt
happy.
Raising her face to the sun, she
caught a flash of white
in-between the huge stalks of flowers. "What's that?" She asked herself
curiously. Willow moved forwards brushing past the flowers, there it
was
again! Deciding it must be a rabbit or a dog she followed it. It came
again and again. She quickened her pace, trying desperately to find out
what it was.
She came to the end of the field,
it opened into woods. She
carried on, the white turned out to be a figure, "Wait!" Willow yelled.
The figure took no notice of her. She ran quicker and quicker. Her
heart
felt like it was going to pound of her chest and her legs ached. Just
as
she felt like she could not go further, it opened out onto a small
clearing. A small waterfall trickled away. "Why wouldn't you wait?" She
asked the figure. Moving closer, she saw that it was Buffy. "Buffy-"
She
began, but she had no further said her name when the figure changed
into
Giles. It kept changing again and again and Willow felt the woods
spinning around her. Her ears burned as they chanted repeatedly, "Is
Willow really Willow?"
She started to cry but then the spinning
stopped and the woods
went dark. Hours had passed by without her noticing. The figure had
it's
back to her. "Why?" She asked, "Why?" The figure turned around.
"Spike?"
she whispered in disbelief.
"I love you," he told her, clasping her hands and kissing her on the
forehead. "Please don't forget that."
"Don't go Spike," she begged, "Please don't go."
He let go of her hands as he disappeared into a bright white light,
showing her reflection. She stared back at herself, but it wasn't her.
A
woman reflecting herself but with white reptile like skin looked back
at
her. "SPIKE!" She yelled.
***
Willow woke up with a start, tears
streaming down her face with
the echoing of the chanting, ringing in her ears.
--
***
Spike tried to comfort Willow but
all she wanted to do was hold
onto him. She wouldn't let go, Buffy and the others tried to help her
but all she'd do was shy away from them and beg Spike to get rid of
them. "What am I going to do?" Spike wondered.
***
In the opposite end of the ship,
a woman was frantically moving
around her cabin smashing everything into millions of tiny pieces. "It
was never meant to happen this way!" She yelled, "Andy was meant to
tell
all. When I get my hands on him, he'll wish he'd never been born."
***
Willow was scared. Scared of the
darkness, scared of the light.
Scared to sleep, scared to stay awake. All she could see was the dream,
played in her mind over and over again, and the feel of Spike's arms
around her. "Don't leave me Spike," she murmured as she eventually fell
into slumber. "Don't let the light come and take you away from me."
***
Spike tried to control his patience,
he tried to keep his anger
under control. But all he wanted to do was grab the person that had
made
his little spitfire into a hollow mouse and torture them till they knew
what pain meant. "They'll never get away with this," He promised Willow
tightening his embrace.
***
"You were meant to tell her you bastard!"
The woman yelled.
"I haven't had chance to. The change is too sudden," he replied.
"The CHANGE! I've been planning this for 18 years, you don't go telling
me that the change is too sudden."
"Well EXCUSE me, but this isn't my daughter we're talking about and if
you want it all done quicker you do it yourself." Andy yelled back
slamming the door.
"My poor baby," the woman said in a quieter tone. "I need to do
something and yet I cannot. Not if I ever want her to know the truth
and
still be able to know me."
--
***
Willow slept on and dreamt of animals, demons and those who
wandered
day and night for eternity. And minute by minute, she knew more of her
destiny, no matter how jumbled it seemed. The third day into the
journey, her brain was swimming and she was desperate to get out of her
cabin. Spike was acting strangely and wouldn't let her out of his sight
but she managed to convince him to let her out for a while. They went
over to the small coffee bar, that the others had been meeting at to
research why everything was happening to her. Entering the coffee bar,
Willow wondered if they'd found out anything. If not, what was she
going
to do?
***
Giles was confused, they'd been searching
through the books he'd
brought with him for hours. While going the books on disc that Willow
had brought with her, with her laptop. But they hadn't found a thing.
"What is going on?" Giles muttered to himself.
***
"Found anything?" Willow asked Giles,
hopefully.
"Well, um... I haven't got all my books with me, and I um..." Giles
began.
"Cut the bloody crap," Spike said getting annoyed, "You've either found
something or you haven't."
"No, we haven't found anything useful," Giles replied defeatedly, "But
we'll keep on looking. What did the doctor say?"
"He couldn't explain it, just said it could be bad migraines." Willow
answered him.
"I can tell you what's going on," a voice called out from the doors of
the coffee bar.
************
***
The Scooby Gang turned around at
Andy's voice. He walked over,
nervously fiddling with the corner of his shirt.
"Andy?" Willow said in shock, "But what, you, how?"
"My real name is Andy, i'm a demon and i'm an old friend of your
mothers. She agreed to help me... with something, but in exchange I had
to do something for her."
"So that's why you've been hanging around us," Buffy said.
"Partly yes," Andy admitted.
"It's ok Andy," another voice called out, "I'll take it from here."
"Hey, you aren't Will's mom," Xander blurted out.
"Not her adopted mom," the woman standing at the doors replied, "Her
biological mom."
"What?" Willow said.
"Let me start from the beginning," the red-haired woman said wearily,
sitting down at the table.
***
"My name is Regina Du Morte and I
was born into an old rich
family that has been around since the beginning of time on this planet.
It might sound strange but it was always the women who had the power in
my family. The first woman of my family was called Iona and had
unbelievable powers that allowed her to take the form of any creature
or
demon she wanted. She used her powers for good at the time, but fell in
love and married her soul mate. She soon conceived a child, a daughter
whom she named Psyche. Their daughter when she turned eighteen,
inherited her mother's powers and her mother in turn died after her
daughter inherited her powers.
Psyche married a man and they too
had a daughter but her husband
died and she re-married. She gave birth to twins, a girl and a boy. The
first daughter turned eighteen and did not inherit her mother's powers.
The daughter was a rebel and Psyche thought that her first daughter was
dammed as she did not receive her powers. But when her second daughter
turned eighteen she received her mother's powers causing her mother to
die. It was the second daughter who inherited her mother's powers, as
the daughter who received the powers had to be conceived from true
love.
The first daughter had been born from an arranged marriage lacking the
love needed.
Since then, the first daughter of
each generation in the family
has conceived a daughter with their soul mate, causing the child to
inherit her mother's powers. When I inherited my powers from my mother,
I soon met the most wonderful man. We fell in love and I was devastated
to find out that I was pregnant. It meant that I only had eighteen
years
to left to live. It would mean that I would die at thirty-six. I was
adamant that I would not die. I put up my daughter up for adoption as
soon as she was born. As you know by now, that daughter was Willow.
Forgive me if I seem harsh Willow, but I was young and naive. I felt
that if I managed to get rid of you, you would grow up not knowing the
history of your family and that you wouldn't inherit my powers. But I
grew up and by the time I realized the error of my ways, you had grown
up yourself. I couldn't just barge into your life and lay this on you."
"Then why did you decide to tell her now?" Spike hissed.
"Guilt. I decided I couldn't tell you myself and that's where Andy came
in. He was to explain it all to you before the change causing you to
inherit the powers. But it was too late. You were having the dizzy
spells, the dreams. I know it's my time to die. I only hope I have your
forgiveness before I leave this level. I'm sorry." Pushing back her
chair, she smiled sadly at Willow, "I love you, if you need me. I'll be
waiting for you." She walked quickly out of the room, leaving the
others
in silence.
Willow looked up at Giles, "I'm...
i'm..."
"... A shapeshifter." Giles said finishing her sentence.
--
***
Willow sat at a table in a dark corner
of the nightclub while
the others reluctantly danced. Even Giles had been persuaded to get up
on the dance floor. She just needed some time to think, without silence
and the others attempting to somehow console her. "I mean, why are they
trying to console me?" She wondered outloud, "It's not like all this
could have been prevented. I've just got to deal..." A soaring pain ran
through her body, clutching her stomach she shuddered as her body
changed form into a water demon. Before changing back to it's normal
appearance just as quickly.
Shaking she stammered out, "I, I
guess... that's n-normal." But
if that was normal, then her mom must be slowly dying. Her mom... all
this time all that pressure her so-called parents had put on her, all
this time she had strived to please them. And for what?
"Penny for your thoughts," A voice said interrupting them.
"What?" Willow asked turning her attention to the owner of the voice.
"It's not good to keep them all locked up inside." Andy told her.
"What if it hurts even more to say them outloud?" She asked, a sad
smile
playing on her lips.
"The pain is nothing compared to the feeling of loneliness," he
replied,
his mind drifting.
"Penny for them," she said jokingly.
"What? Oh, yer..."
"Is she ok?" Willow asked him in a small voice.
"No, but then that's to be expected."
"Right..."
"She'd love to see you," he said intercepting her thoughts.
"I don't know if I could. How long... How long does she, well."
"Days at the most. Do it before it's too late."
***
Willow hesitated in front of the
door that Andy had given her
the number of. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "Breathe Willow,
don't forget to breathe. Raising her hand, the door opened and a voice
whispered, "I've been hoping you'd come."
--
***
She was sitting at the window seat
of her large cabin, staring
out of the window into the endless blanket of darkness. "Don't be
afraid," she told her, never changing her position, not even to turn
her
head. "You're strong, so strong. You won't act like I have done."
"I thought those kind of things ran in the family," Willow answered,
trying to break the ice but somehow the sharpness in her voice gave
away
the emotions she was trying to keep below the surface.
"Don't be angry, I need to explain,"
her head turned around and her
emerald green eyes bore into Willow's.
"Take your time, it's not like I have anywhere to run."
"But I have," she murmured under her breath. "I need you to forgive me
Willow, I need to be able to die knowing my only cild doesn't despise
me."
"Despise you? I don't even know you. I have been around for eighteen
years and every time I think I have some grasp on my life, something
happens and reality changes. First with Buffy and then with my own
identity. Do you realize how many times I thanked my lucky stars that I
wasn't like Buffy? That my future wasn't decided, that I could be who I
wanted to be? How many times I pitied her? And now she's doing the same
for me? I may not despise you, I may be able to forgive you, but I will
NEVER forget what you've done."
"You think that I wanted this destiny too?"
"No, but you had eighteen years to come to terms with it before it
happened. I have but days." Tears now threatening to flow, she gulped.
"I-I have to go."
"Please Willow wait," She jumped up and grasped Willow's wrist.
"There's
something else."
"What?" She asked, her voice softer as she lost her grip on her hate
and
somehow wishing her mom would take her in her arms and sing lullabies
to
her until she fell asleep. "Get a grip Willow," she thought.
"This is yours," she replied handing her a large silver bound book. "It
will be able to help you when I no longer can, maybe you'll also be
able
to understand my actions."
Fury gripped Willow, fury at how she had let herself fall into a dream
where her mom would want to be with her. Fury at how her mom hadn't.
"Thanks," she mumbled before fleeing the cabin.
Iona stood watching her, "Please
be safe Willow, please
understand your destiny," she called after her, although she knew she
couldn't be heard. She turned back, taking one last glance at the stars
before closing the cabin door behind her.
--
***
Willow had been staring at the silver bound book for an hour.
Buffy
sighed, "What am I going to do with her?" She wondered, "If she doesn't
snap out of it soon i'll go mad." Staring at Willow and sending mental
signals to her to wake up, she sighed again. "And what the hell is she
doing listening to classical music? That's *so* not Willow."
As if a light had been turned on inside her head she jumped
up. "I
know how to help you Will, even if I have to do a little persuading,"
she yelled mentally to her, before adding outloud. "I'm sorry but I
completely forgot. I... I have this thing I have to do. I'll be back
soon. Just remember, don't do anything I wouldn't do."
***
Hearing Buffy's voice somewhere in the pool of her thoughts,
she
nodded. Feeling like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders
and in her mind. Willow fell into a troubled sleep.
***
"Really," the Captain said, "You do know that this is going
to
interrupt the cruise's entertainment plan."
"Of course, but it will mean so much to her, with her birthday and
all,"
Buffy replied.
"Hmmm."
"We'll pay for anything extra, just charge it to Mrs Regina Du Morte's
account. Willow's her daughter," she said, "And deserves something
after
what she's put her through," she added mentally.
"Miss Du Morte's daughter? Why didn't you say so sooner? Of course it
would be an honour for us to put on a party for her."
"Thanks," Buffy said smiling sweetly at him before leaving the cabin.
"Get your party hat on Willow, cause you're in for one hell of a ride,"
Buffy muttered under her breath.
***
Part 17:
***
Spike shook his head, he didn't know how the two had done
it but
they'd managed to get the captain to arrange a party for Willow,
courtesy of the Slayer's charms. Though how anyone could be attracted
to
her was beyond him. She'd get off with anyone. And Cordy had managed to
find the perfect dress.
He only hoped Willow would like Buffy's idea or he might
have to
turn the Slayer into a midnight snack. "Slayer blood," he murmured,
unconsciously licking his lips. He was brought back to reality by Angel
thrusting the dress into his arms. "Daddy dearest, how kind of you," he
said adjusting his position to hold it without creasing it.
"You'd better remember that the next time you try and hurt Buffy."
"Hurt Buffy?" Spike replied in mock horror. "Never."
"I know you Spike, anything for a laugh."
"I've changed."
"So have I."
"Into a lapdog," he muttered as he sauntered away, Angel scowling after
him.
***
Willow's eyelashes fluttered as she
opened her eyes. Yawning,
she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. GLancing at her alarm clock, the
green digital time flashed back at her. 5 o'clock at night. The night
of her birthday. "Yay, another useless year has passed me by," she
muttered, "And what have I got to show for it. A whole big
agglomeration
of pain. Life doesn't get much better than this." She fell out of bed
and wandered into the shower.
Stepping out an hour afterwards,
her eyes travelled around the
cabin dotted with familiar items. They travelled past a dress, draped
over a chair. A dress? She walked over to the chair. Eagerly taking in
every sequin, magically sewn onto the sun yellow material. She looked
around the room checking to see no-one was about, like a child who's
spotted their christmas presents and doesn't want to be told off for
playing with them before the big day.
Smiling secretively she put the dress
on, staring at her
reflection in the mirror she smiled. Suddenly there was a knock on the
door. "Come in," she replied.
Xander stood at the door, open mouthed and in a suit. "I'm... i'm here
to escort you... to the party." He extended his hand. "Want to go to
the
ball? Or run off with me into the sunset? I'll even through in your own
pocket-knife."
"That's tempting Xander, but i've decided to face my problems."
"Good for you."
"I can still have the pocket knife, can't I?"
***
***
Willow felt like a princess. She'd arrived at
the party to find
the rest of the gang there and what appeared to be, the entire ship. And
then she'd seen Spike. Willow's lips curved into a childish grin as she
thought back to the vision of Spike dressed in a tux. She'd almost
fainted, all Spike ever wore was black pants and a red shirt. But he'd
made the effort and she'd have to show him how much it meant to her. Her
mind trailed off with thoughts of how she could show her appreciation.
"Are you having a good time Red?" Spike's voice
whispered into
her ear. His cold breath sent a shiver down her spine and he pulled her
closer.
"It's perfect," she replied as they dodged another
dancing
couple heading straight into them. "Though you could have warned me, i'd
have taken dancing lessons."
Spike let out a low chuckle. "I'm always available-"
He was cut
off as the crowd gathered around the dancefloor let out a low murmur.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the couples turned around to see what had
caught everyone's attention.
There stood Regina, clothed magnificently in
a pale blue dress.
But she was clutching to a nearby chair, eyes sunken and gasping for
breath.
"Regina?" Willow breathed.
***
***
Suddenly as if in slow motion, Willow could see
Angel and Andy
go to steady Regina and carry her off into a dark corner of the room.
The party after a while carried on, but everyone shot glances every now
and then to the woman who looked like she was about to pass out.
But Willow, Willow stood there in shock like
the air in her
lungs had just been sucked out of her. Gone where the earlier ecstatic
and happy emotions. And in their place sat feelings of hatred towards
her mother, that she could interrupt her life in this manner again. But
mostly she felt the feeling of the Angel of Death. Sitting on her
shoulder, laughing at the irony of the situation and the fact that she
was about to lose someone else. Someone she'd never have the chance to
know or to understand, or to even love. Tears pricked at her eyes,
threatening to surface and envelop her in their depths.
And then there was Spike, who was gently pushing
her over to
were her mother sat. Whispering soothing words into her ear and telling
her it was time to say goodbye. Telling her not to make the mistake most
of us do.
"I'm sorry, i'm just so sorry," Willow managed
to say, before
the tears gushed forth from within her, and she fell to her knees.
Grasping her mother's legs as if they were a lifeline, and if she was
able to hold them tight enough it would somehow stop her mother from
slipping away.
"Shush," her mother replied, stroking Willow's hair. "You never did
anything wrong. Remember that. I need you to promise me that you'll
never blame yourself. I shouldn't have abandoned you."
"No you did what you thought was right," Willow said shaking her head
and turning to look at her mother.
"I love you Willow," she whispered, her voice tight and raspy.
"I love you too... mom," She replied, just as Regina's eyes closed and
her head fell forward.
"NOOO!" Willow screamed, trying to shake her mother awake. But was
stopped as her body began to ache. It flashed an off-white colour,
changing it's appearance to a unicorn. Then back to normal as Willow lay
unconscious on the floor.
***
***
**There's one thing I'm sure of is
that we will always be
Even though the road seems
to get a little rough
It's for you I live I can do anything
And it will never be too much**
Willow managed
to smile as the coastline of Italy came into
view. "Not a palm tree to be seen," she murmured under her breath. Her
eyes travelled down to her lap where a silver bound book lay. She had
found out the previous night when the time had come to pack and the pain
had subsided a little, that it was a diary.
**In my darkest hour you are
there to light the way
And when I'm down you
always lift me up again
Oh, oh, oh, oh
You know me
better than I know myself
You comfort me and let me know
with you I'm gonna win**
The first
woman of her family had started it, injected into it's
pages, her hopes, fears and dreams. In a funny, comforting way it
reminded her of the Watcher diaries. And in that funny comforting way it
had helped her get through these first few days and would continue to do
that for the rest of her life.
**Walk with me hand in hand
We help each other
understand how to go through
There will never be a day
that we'll grow apart
So we'll forever be
together hand in hand**
"It's time
to go Red," Spike's voice said as he appeared next to
her. Taking one last glance at the coastline, Willow breathed in deeply
and clutching the diary in one hand and Spike's hand in the other. She
followed him off the ship. And as the others started with their friendly
mickytaking and jibes, she smiled and muttered under her breath,
"Unforgettable is good."
**Sometimes I'm wrong
and even in that case
You didn't go away you
stayed right next to me
As time goes on I realize
that you're for me
And I will love you for eternity.**
***
The End