Hung Out To Dry

Title: Hung Out to Dry
Author: Elka Carpenter
Email: [email protected]
Rating: PG
Part: 2 of ??
Order: Follows Part 1. Genuis!
Spoilers: Some season four, I'm making the rest up as I go along.
Distribution: http://wonder.tentex.com/~breathe
Disclaimer: Joss, WB, Fox, and Mutant Enemy get BtVS. Natalie Imbruglia
gets
'Smoke'. I get everything else.
Feedback: I lick those that don't comment.
Author's Notes: Here's some more. The idea is there, I'm afraid the
actual
writing isn't as brilliant as it could be. I apologize.

-----

My Lullaby, hung out to dry
What's up with that
It's over
Where are you dad
Mum's lookin' sad
What's up with that
It's dark in here

Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to

My mouth is dry
Forgot how to cry
What's up with that
You're hurting me
I'm running fast
Can't hide the past
What's up with that
You're pushing me

Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to
I used to

Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling on the floor
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling on the floor
Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling on the floor

-----

Spike stared down at the slip of paper in his hand, fingering the tear
stains that ran over it in a painful pattern, he glanced up at the open
door, back down at the paper, then again at the door. He had been given
strict orders to stay in the apartment or dustbunny he would most
certainly
be. He sighed helplessly.

But then, when did he obey strict orders?

Spike retrieved his duster and headed out after Willow.

-----

She sat alone, clutching her sides, afraid if she let go everything
inside
her would fall out and she'd never get herself back together again. Her
head
throbbed, her heart ached, her thoughts blurred. She felt like she was
running around in circles, trying to think things through, but not
moving.

Willow's head fell in her hands, her sobs drowning out the sound of
the
approaching figure.

"Hello luv." Spike eased down her next to her on the park bench.

She looked up at him, surprised, her eyes wide with tears. "You...you
followed me?" She asked. "Why?"

He reached in his pocket for the paper and handed it to her. "You
dropped
this."

Willow looked down at the telegram, she swallowed the evident pain.
"And
you thought the best way to comfort would be to bring that to me?" She
shook
her head, slapping it roughly with the palm of her hand. "God." She
looked
up at the sky, biting her lip. "I wish you were still killer vamp. Then
you
could just put me out of my misery."

"What's that about?" Spike asked, following her gaze to the stars.

"You know. Torture heartlessly and kill mercilessly."

For some reason that offended him, he turned to glare at her. "I don't
have
to kill people." Spike replied indignantly. "I just like to. I may not
have
a soul, but I do have a brain...and a heart, granted it doesn't tend to
beat, but it's there just the same. I can feel love. What do you think
it
was that kept me with Dru for almost a hundred years?"

Willow sunk into Spike's arms. Surprised, he held her as she shook.
"Sorry
about that, pet. Probably not the best thing to say."

She clenched him tightly with her small hands, burying her face in his
chest. She clung tightly to him.

"I feel..." She sobbed. "I feel like I'm standing at the edge of the
earth
with nowhere to go...and it's cracking under feet." She tried through
cries.

Spike tilted her face up to his, he wiped away her tears with
surprisingly
soft fingers, pushing her wild red hair from her face.

Willow sniffed and stared at him, his eyes were caring and genuine.
Everything was falling to pieces and he was like a rock, someone for
her to
lean and depend on. She stayed for many minutes in his arms.

"We best be getting back, luv. The Slayer and friends are apt to be
ticked
if I'm not in my cage."

Willow stood, blinking away a few stray tears. "Oz had a cage."

Spike shook his head, draped an arm around her shoulders and led her
away.

-----

Buffy and the others were ready to spread out and search for the
missing
vampire when he arrived with Willow in tow.

"Where have you been?" Buffy pounced as soon as they stepped in the
door.

Spike glared at her. "I was with your best friend." He stated
matter-of-factly. "She was upset and you weren't around. Someone had to
give
her a shoulder to cry on. You all were to busy."

All eyes landed on Willow's red, tear-stained face, they travelled
down to
her and Spike's entwined fingers. She was clutching him like a security
blanket.

"Will. What is it?" Buffy asked softly.

"Oz." She said blankly, staring at the floor. "He's dead."

The room fell silent.

The Slayer paused before answering. "I know."

-----

Willow looked up at her friend sharply, the blood drained from her
face.
"What?" She fired.

Buffy looked down, unable to look into her friends angry and hurt
eyes. "I
know he's dead." She answered with honesty. "I knew he was going to die
before it even happened."

"No." Willow's expression grew cold, her face set in stone. "No, you
didn't. Tell me you didn't."

The Slayer looked to Giles desperately for help. "I..."

"I'm afraid it's true, Willow." Giles set in. "He was killed by an
ancient
process called..."

"Malusa." Spike interrupted, recalling the fact.

"That's correct." The librarian removed his glasses and pinched the
bridge
of his nose between two fingers.

"I remember that. Not as bad as Inella, if I remember it all right.
But he
would have been gone long before if it had been up to Elkala, she's the
violent one." Spike rubbed Willow's shoudlers

"True. Both very creative vengenance demons. Willow, I had hoped you
wouldn't have to find out about it this way."

"How about you hoped I wouldn't have to find out about it at all?"
Willow
searched the eyes of her friends. "That's why you all have been
avoiding me.
Trying to get me to move on. You knew there was no hope. How could you
Buffy? Giles?"

They both looked away, unable to face her rage.

"And you? Xander? Were you in on it? Did you know they were going to
kill
my lover?" Willow focussed on her childhood friend.

"We didn't kill him, Wills." Buffy spoke up.

"Yes." Willow seethed. "You did."

She glared at the Slayer for a moment, not knowing her own strength,
she
lashed out at the blonde, delivering a sharp jab to the eye with her
fist.

Willow snapped back, turned and ran from the apartment.

Spike looked at the group, Xander, Anya, and Giles staring at the
doorway.
Buffy, holding her injury.

"Some friends."

He left.

-----

Willow loved the way the moonlight reflected in the blade, gleaming
above
and below her head at the same time. She passed it over her skin, just
skimming the surface, practising. The tears were gone. She was through
crying, for now. She knew they would come, after the deed was
committed,
then it would be over. The thought strangely comforted her.

"Not the way to go."

Her attention shot to him. "You keep following me; I'm going to think
you
care."

"Maybe I do. Is that so hard to believe?" Spike answered, advancing
slowly.
"Don't you think I've fingered a stake before? Wondering if one thrust
through the heart wasn't necessary?"

She shook her head. "Don't stop me. I know that's why you're here.
You're
going to go through all the reasons why I shouldn't go through with it,
I'm
going to break down and give you the knife. Then we'll make sweet love
in
the moonlight, confessing our love to each other. Isn't that the way
the
plot runs?"

"Sometimes." He answered honestly. "You're being awfully peckish about
your
life here, luv."

"The pain. It's too much. I can feel everything. I feel his death, the
coldness." She stared down at the blade. "Oz said we were like Romeo
and
Juliet once, without the deadness. He said we'd prove them all wrong,
live
on forever and forever in a happy Verona. Instead we break up and a
demon
hunter kills him while I wallow in my own foolish self-pity."

"Not foolish, it's not."

"Bleeding is breathing. Someone told me that once. I heard it.
Somewhere.
Bleeding is believing."

"Don't talk like that."

"Like what? Someone in pain? Someone who got a fucking telegram
telling her
her lover had been killed? Is that wrong? I don't think so." Her tears
took
over, running down her face as she pulled her arms further in her
jacket.

"Give me the knife." Spike approached her, hand extended. He stared at
her
evenly.

Willow handed him the knife, relenting like she said she never would.
He
took it and sat beside her on the cold asphalt.

"It's like I've been hung out to dry." She whispered, arms held
tightly to
her chest.

Spike knew. All of a sudden, he knew too much. He realized he had
underestimated the bond the two had held. The love they had shared. It
really was Romeo and Juliet.

"It's not over, is it?" He asked.

Willow shut her eyes, letting the light of the stars dance on her
face.
"It's over. It is now."

He felt the ripping inside him. He reached over, pulling at her hands.

The blood. So much blood, spilled from the jacket, the cuts on her
wrists.
The jagged crisscrossed marks leaked their fresh red pain. He had no
time
for expression, no time to feel what he saw.

She sunk into his arms, staring up at him with half-dead eyes. It made
her
weak.

The whisper fell from her lips was her last.

"Like I've been hung out to dry..."

-----

The End