Title: i/us
Author: Elka
Email: [email protected]
Post Date: 01-16-00
Rating: PG13
Part: 1 of ?
Distribution: The regulars.
Disclaimer: Joss is the blood on my hands.
Spoilers: Season four.
Feedback: Check.
Author's Notes: To my wonderful Nita, who took on the excruciating task of
beta-ing this for me. You're the most amazing "all of all people".

Not for Inell. Abandoned me. Sniff.

-----
 

Willow pulled herself up slowly, brushing the dried and caked mud from her
shirt sleeves. The pale pink fabric was torn and stained, it's orginal
colour almost completely distorted by something dark. She peered at it.

Blood.

She glanced around. She was in the woods, but she didn't recognise her
surroundings. Somehow she felt pulled in the direction she knew she must
walk. She set out, covering ground quickly.

Her feet barely touched the ground as she travelled. Willow felt dizzy,
disconnected, like she was floating above her body. She couldn't remember
why she was where she was. Or why she was covered in dirt and blood. She
just wanted to get back to her friends.
The sun beat down harshly through the leaves, immersing her in broken beams
of light. She could see the sun, but didn't feel it's heat. She felt cold as
she wrapped her arms tightly around her midsection. Her skin was cool to the
touch.

-----

Willow didn't know what time it was when she reached Giles' apartment. She
had walked straight there, anxious to make sure everyone was also okay.

The door was wide open when she arrived, a warm breeze sweeping her over the
threshold. She smiled as she saw everyone gathered in the Watcher's living
room. Even Angel and Cordelia were there...

Her face dropped. She took in the features of those present. Their eyes,
red. Lips, silent. Buffy looked angry, glaring at the wall. Xander stared at
the carpet, he ignored Anya's comforting grip. The others looked equally
upset. Even Spike, of all people, held a sorrowful expression.

"Guys?" Willow asked, stepping further into the room.

They took no notice of her. Buffy sniffed loudly.

"I can't believe this. I can't believe tomorrow we're going to Willow's..."

She stopped, unable to finish. Xander reached out to envelope her in a hug.
They clung to each other, both crying audibly.

Willow looked confused. "Willow's what?"

Giles removed his glasses to wipe tearful eyes. "She was a remarkable young
woman and will most definitely be missed."

"Missed?" I'm right here?"

The Slayer leaned away from Xander, keeping a firm grip on his arm to steady
herself.

"She was my best friend. My first true friend..."

"Buffy." Willow started, she reached her hand out for her.

"...and to have this happen..."

Willow's hand didn't connect with Buffy, it simply passed through her,
almost like a dream. A bad dream. The redhead stared in horror.

"...to die the way she did..."

-----
i/us (2/?)

Her hand passed right through Buffy.

Willow slumped into Giles' sofa in disbelief. She couldn't remember dying.
All she remembered was saying goodbye to Spike.

Where? Where was that? When did she do that? Blue over her head, but a
different blue, blue with green and...brown. And different colours swirling
around. And there was black, long shiny black. Waving red pushing the green
and brown away.

Cool fingers caressing her cheek. Specks of soothing light shining down at
her, moisture dripping down and covering her face. A hopeless sigh and
agonising anger.

The images passed through her rapidly, not letting her focus on any one
object for longer than a heartbeat.

Yet her heart didn't beat. Not anymore.

Only fear pounded through her transparency.

She turned her gaze to Spike, he seemed to be looking directly at her. She
knew that couldn't be and disregarded the thought before her still, aching
heart could soar.

She lowered her head, tears splashing her pale hands. Something reached out
for her, wiping away the sadness.

Willow looked up sharply. Spike kneeled before her, ignoring the others in
the room. He held her hand in his, staring straight back at her.

"Spike." She whispered.

He nodded twice, slowly.

"Yes, pet."

-----
i/us (3/?)

Willow stared at him, her face set in a mask of something somewhere
between
shock and disbelief...and a little bit of joy to hold it all together.

"You can see me?" She choked out.

"Yes. I didn't think I'd be able to, I thought you'd go on." Spike
nodded
again.

"But they can't?" Willow asked, gesturing to the others in the room.
They
were staring at Spike as if he'd grown a blender out of the side of his
head.

"No."

"What about Angel?"

He paused and turned to glance at his sire. Angel nodded slightly.

Willow broke down, collapsing against Spike. Her tiny body heaved in
frightened sobs. He put an unsure arm around her.

"Shhh. Willow, luv. It's okay."

Buffy's head snapped up. "Willow?"

Angel stepped in. "She's here."

"What do you mean?" Cordelia asked him.

"She hasn't passed on. She's still here."

Giles removed his glasses. "A ghost?"

"Something like that. She's a spirit."

Xander looked at Spike holding the nothingness that must have been his
best
friend. He could see him shaking lightly as he held the invisible form
close
to him. Xander hated to admit it, but he was put slightly at ease
knowing
Willow had someone. He wished it were him, though.

"Why is she here?" He asked.

Angel paused a moment. "It's the old myth. She has unfinished business.
There's something that's keeping her here and she has to find it before
she
can move on."

"Can we bring her back?" Buffy pressed, her eyes moving to Spike.

"No. Why would you want to?"

The Slayer tried to control her pain. "I miss her."

"It's a fact of life, Buffy. Willow has died, you need to move on."

She opened her mouth to answer, but changed her mind. She focussed on
the
carpet in front of her.

"What's keeping her here?"

Before Angel could answer, a familiar voice spoke from the doorway.

"Hello, Sunnydale."

-----

i/us (4/?)

Spike looked up from the soft body he cradled in his arms. He growled
angrily at the intruder, ignoring the obvious confusion in Willow's wide
eyes.

She glanced over her shoulder, following his stare.

"Oz!" She cried out in surprise.

He didn't hear her. He couldn't see her.

Spike pulled away from Willow reluctantly, he found comfort in knowing he
could be there to support her. He stood to face the wolf, snarling as he
stepped forward.

Angel reached out and snagged his arm as before he could walk past him. His
childe whipped around, feral eyes glowing.

"Let go." He warned fiercly.

"No." His sire overruled. "You won't hurt him. You have no claim in their
affairs. You know how it works, Spike."

"Then I'll stake on. He can't see her, I can. That's enough."

"No." Angel repeated firmly. "I can see her, too. But I'm not interfering.
And neither are you. This isn't our place."

"Hey." Willow stood, frustrated. "I'm here. Talk to me, too. I'm the one
that's dead, remember?"

"So am I, pet. And Angel. How do you think we can see you?" Spike shot back
without thinking.

She backed off, inadvertently kicking the table with her foot. She didn't
float through it. The entire room glanced at the movement, consumed in their
own silence.

"What? Why didn't I go through it?"

"You're angry." Angel explained quietly. "Anger is strength."

Oz held up a hand. "What's going on?"

Xander closed his eyes and massaged his temples with two fingers. "Willow's
dead, but she isn't. She's still here. A ghost, a spirit, whatever. Angel
and Spike can see and hear her, but we can't." He sighed tiredly.

"Oh."

"Oh?" Willow repeated.

Spike snickered.

Oz looked at the vampire. "Why is here?"

Willow crossed the room, watching Oz carefully. She reached for his face,
her hand passing through his skin. He felt the sudden coolness and looked
up, almost directly at her.

"Willow?" He managed.

"Oz."

"Angel." Buffy touched his arm. "What's the deal here?"

"I told you. Unfinished business. Something's keeping her." He glanced at
the scene in front of him. "And I think I may know what it is."

Spike sunk into a chair.

-----