Insensitive

By Inell

Title: Insensitive
Author: Inell
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all; Song-Jann Arden
Distribution: Usual suspects
Rating: R
Feedback: Would make a great Xmas gift.
Notes: Just a song fic. I know....sappy ending.
 

INSENSITIVE (1/1)
 

< How do you cool your lips
After a summer's kiss
How do you rid the sweat
After the body bliss
How do you turn your eyes
from the romantic glare
How do you block the sound
of a voice you'd know anywhere >
 

Willow watched as Spike flirted with yet another trampy bitch. She
couldn't believe she had spent the summer in his bed. In his arms. Now,
he acted as though it had never happened. She couldn't talk to Buffy
about it because her friend had no idea what had happened. Buffy would
kill her then Spike....or maybe Spike then her. It didn't matter.
They'd
both end up dead. How could he like it never happened? She remembered
every detail vividly. She had never experienced such feelings...such
emotions. His touch had made her crazy. His words had touched her soul.
 

< Oh I really should have known
by the time you drove me home
by the vagueness in your eyes
your casual good byes
by the chill in your embrace
the expression on your face
that told me
you might have some advice to give
on how to be
insensitive >
 

It had been seventeen days since he had left her at her parent's house
with that a quick kiss and a see you later. She hadn't spoken to him
since. She had seen him every night....with a different woman. He would
drink, chat them up, then leave with them. She had lost track with what
they had looked like. She sighed and looked down at her drink. He never
even looked at her. It was as though she didn't even exist to him. She
still didn't know how they had gotten involved. He had started helping
them last year after his implant. She had lost Oz. He had listened.
Things were friendly until summer. Then, when everyone had been busy
and
they had been on their own, things just exploded.
 

< How do you numb your skin
after the warmest touch
how do you slow your blood
after the body rush
how do you free your soul
after you've found a friend
how do you teach your heart
it's a crime to fall in love again >
 

They hadn't only been lovers. That was what made her crazy. She had
lost
a great friend. The only person that had really known her. He knew more
about her than even Buffy. She missed that closeness that they had
shared. She felt worse than after Oz had left her. She seriously felt
as
though someone had reached in and torn her heart out.
 

< Oh you probably won't remember me
it's probably ancient history
I'm one of the chosen few
who went ahead and fell for you
i'm out of vogue   i'm out touch
i fell too fast   i feel too much
i thought that you might have
some advice to give on how to be insensitive >
 

She saw him lean forward, whispering in the blonde's ear. She blinked
away tears and stood up. She hurriedly left the club, bumping into
several people on the way. She was through torturing herself. She loved
him. She hated herself for loving him. He didn't deserve her love. She
ran to the alley and leaned against the fall, giving into the tears.
She
felt miserable. She missed him so much.
 

"I couldn't do it" the words were spoken softly.
 

She froze. She looked up, her eyes wide.
 

Spike leaned forward and gently brushed a tear away with his thumb. "I
told myself that I could. I had to. You deserve so much more....But I
can't."
 

"Can't what?" she asked softly.
 

"Can't forget you....can't make myself not love you. No matter what.
None of them are you. I still love you."
 

"Why is that bad?"
 

"Pet, I'm a vampire. You're the slayer's best friend. What is the logic
in it?"
 

"Who needs logic? I love you."
 

Spike kissed her softly. "You're right. Fuck logic." He deepened the
kiss. Her arms went around him, holding him tight. She didn't plan on
letting go ever again.
 
 

**************THE END******************