What The?

By Inell

Title: What The? (1/?)
Author: Inell
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
Distribution: Usual suspects
Rating: R
Feedback: Would start the year off right
To Stasia who begged for this sillyness. All complaints should be
directed her way. I shall take any praise, if there is any LOL.
Just something silly to pass some time.
 

WHAT THE (1/?)
 

Willow stood and stretched, her eyes looking at the wide moon. Her
green
sweatshirt cover her to the knees of her black jeans.
 

Spike glanced at the girl and frowned. She was vampsitting for the
evening. Actually until tomorrow evening when the watcher returned.
Just
what he needed. Some silly twit around under foot all damn day.
 

"So" Willow said, turning to Spike. "What shall we do?"
 

"Go play in traffic?" he offered with a smirk.
 

"I don't want to be here anymore than you want me here, so deal with
it."
 

He laughed harshly, "What? You have plans to do laundry tonight?"
 

"I'm ignoring you" Willow said sitting down. The moonlight shone
through
the window.
 

"You couldn't if you tried" He said cockily.
 

"Ego much?" Willow asked.
 

"Confidence pet. I know how I affect you."
 

"Must be a nice dream world you live in Spike. Send me a postcard when
you get the chance." Willow said rolling her eyes.
 

"Oh, bother" he growled and ignored her. Usually he was able to at
least
get a blush out of her. It wasn't fun when she ignored him.
 

"Go on. I'm interested in hearing from the big bad scary vampire"
Willow
said, making her eyes wide. "See? I got goosebumps."
 

"I call them breasts, but I see the similarities" Spike remarked. He
saw
the fire flash in her eyes before she turned away. "Oh...touchy touchy.
Someone isn't happy with her body."
 

"My body is just fine, cadaver breath. At least I have a pulse."
 

"Weak though it is" he said, taunting her.
 

"Go to hell." she hissed. "You have no idea what I go through everyday.
I am strong. I'm alive aren't I?"
 

"Ha. You call it living? You shut yourself away in that dorm room only
coming out to go to class or research. I live more than you do and I've
been dead 126 years!"
 

"Fuck off" she said, standing.
 

Spike moved, grabbing her wrist. He flinched at the pain in his head,
but he kept his grip firm. "No one talks to me that way. Do you know
who
I am?"
 

"A vampire that can't bite. Big words there scary man. Come on, lick me
to death." she taunted, hitting a nerve.
 

"You have no idea what this is like. You said go to hell. Well, baby,
I've been there the last two months. Let me tell something, it isn't a
lot of fun."
 

"Let go of me."
 

"Apologize for the cadaver breath remark. I'll have you know that I use
Tic Tacs."
 

"Just stay away from me. It is not a good day. OK?" Willow said, trying
to get free.
 

"You're having a bad day? I've had a bad three years."
 

They stared intensely at each other, anger radiating through them both.
At the same time, they opened their mouths.
 

"I wish you could live my life for a day."
 

They both shouted. A white light filled the room, causing them both to
fall backwards.
 

Spike opened his eyes glad to see the regular light in the apartment.
He
raised a hand to his head, his heart racing. His eyes widened.
Heartbeat? He sat up and looked down....at his breasts covered in a
green sweatshirt.
 

"What the...." his soft voice said.
******

WHAT THE (2/?)
 

Willow opened her eyes and sat up. She glanced down and saw a black
t-shirt and black jeans. She brought her hand to her chest and thumped.
No heartbeat. She yelped.
 

Spike glanced over and flinched as he heard himself shriek girlishly.
 

"Damn it shut up" his soft voice said.
 

Willow looked at him, her blue eyes widening as she realized what had
happened. "You're me.....I'm you...I don't like this...."
 

Spike looked at himself. He smiled slowly, "Man, I'm a handsome devil
ain't I? Forgotten just how blue them old eyes were. No wonder the
chits
are always sighing."
 

"Look here, Mr Ego Man, I want out of this body." Willow said, her
voice
husky and British. She didn't want to think about how good looking
Spike
was, especially when she was in him.
 

"Sorry pet. The wish said a day. I'd assume we have 24 hours to suffer.
Here I said hell couldn't be worse." his harsh words were softened by
her soft voice.
 

"This isn't a picnic for me either." Willow said rolling her eyes.
"Hey,
I don't have to breathe."
 

Spike shook his head. Suddenly, he straightened. "I feel a tingle in
my..your stomach. What's happening?"
 

"Oh lord" Willow said, glad that her body couldn't blush. "You,
um...have to pee."
 

"WHAT? I do not 'pee'." Spike said in protest.
 

"Trust me on this one. Go to the bathroom, but no peaking. Good lord,
my
luck to be taken over by a horny pervert."
 

"Love the trust this relationship has luv" he said standing. He headed
to the bathroom. "I promise not to look."
 

She sat up, her glance admiring the lean frame that she was now a part
of. She brought her large hands up to run along her new chest. So
muscular. He appeared so slim that it was rather surprising to feel the
muscles. She felt a rush of power go through her. Thoughts bombarded
her
mind of death. There was a struggle inside of her.
 

"It's the demon luv" a quite voice said. She looked up into her green
eyes that were looking at her strangely.
 

"You have to fight this all the time?" she asked.
 

"Pretty much so. It's worse now that I can't feed." he walked into the
kitchen, passing by her. "I didn't peak."
 

"Thanks" she muttered following him unsteadily. She wasn't used to
being
this tall and broad.
 

"Time to eat" he said, popping a bag of blood into the microwave.
 

"Ugh. No" Willow said, her angular face blanching.
 

"I peed for you. Unless you want me to strip down right now and violate
my new perky little body with kitchen utensils, you better feed me."
 

"Yes sir." Willow spit out in a sarcastic voice. Her mind was whirling
at what he had meant by kitchen utensils. Seeing her body stand there,
hearing those words, she felt something in her lower body tighten. She
glanced down, her eyes wide as she saw a rather formidable bulge
stretching against his pants. He got erect when she got demanding? She
moved behind the counter, leaning over so he wouldn't notice the state
his body was in. Maybe it was her and not his usual reaction. That had
to be it. He had never shown any signs of arousal at her bossiness
before. Damn, she knew one day her naughty thoughts would get her in to
trouble. In her body, it was easy to conceal them. Unfortunately, she
was in the muscular form of a man.
 

"Eat" he said, his green eyes watching her to make sure she drunk the
whole mug. He felt something tingling again in his lower body as his
eyes followed the movement of her mouth and throat...HIS mouth and
throat. He felt an itch deep inside. Good grief, the little chit got
turned on watching him feed. He smiled sinisterly. Maybe this could be
fun.
*********

WHAT THE (3/?)
 

"So, pet. What shall we do?"
 

Willow looked over, not liking the suggestive look in her eyes. Damn,
even in someone else's body he radiated sexual energy. "We could play
checkers?"
 

He sighed, causing the breasts to shift under the sweatshirt. "No fun
in
that luv. Man, it's hot"

Before she could say anything, he had swept the shirt over his head.
She
watched in horror as he settled back down, clad only in her Rose satin
bra. The body she was in tightened by instinct.
 

"Put the damn shirt back on" she demanded.
 

He grinned impishly at her. "Got hot." He looked down. "Wow, nice
goosebumps. Wouldn't know it by the awful clothes you wear."
 

She watched in fascination as he brought a small hand up and caressed
them. "Don't do that."
 

"Why?" he asked. "It's not like I'll have this chance again."
 

"Fine. I can play that game too" she said, ripping the buttons from her
shirt. She pulled it off, unconsciously sighing as her pale flesh came
into view. She ran her large hands over the surface down to the waist
of
the pants. She looked at him challengingly.
 

"Fine" he grumbled, not wanting her to remove anymore clothes. This was
bad enough. He glared at her. "This is all your fault. If you hadn't
ignored me, I wouldn't have made that damn wish."
 

"Me ignore you? Listen here, buddy, all you do is ignore me."
 

"Please. Even the slayer has teased me about the damn crush. My luck to
fall for some silly human. You bring the worst luck with you pet."
 

"Crush?" the words were spoken softly.
 

He looked into blue eyes. "You didn't know? That's a laugh. Are you
blind? No, I can see perfectly through these eyes."
 

"Well, Buffy's teased me too" the words were said as he watched his
lower lip pout.
 

"No pouting please. Reminds me of the damn Pouf."
 

A speculative look came in those blue eyes. "I wonder what it would be
like to fuck him in this body?"
 

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he demanded, his soft voice
sharpening. "There will be none of that with my body, thank you very
much."
 

Willow grinned evilly, "Never say never, LUV" she drawled as her blue
eyes roamed over his petite body. The tingling became greater between
his legs. He moved on the sofa, trying to find some sort of friction.
 

"That won't work" Willow's voice said knowledgeably. "I've tried
before."
 

"Good lord. Are you a walking hormone?"
 

Her smile looked lopsided, "Usually around you I am. Here, let me."
 

"What?" He said shrilly as he moved towards his defenseless body. A
thrill of desire ran through him.
 

She laughed, "Brings another meaning to the term, Go fuck yourself
doesn't it?"
**********
WHAT THE (4/4)
 

Willow looked at her body, wondering if she could do this. She knew it
was like she was doing herself, only with a witness. A witness that she
usually dreamed about. She brought her hands up to his waist.
 

"Just sit back and I'll do the work" she said softly, helping him lay
her body on the couch. Green eyes watched her carefully. She unzipped
the jeans, pushing them off. She ran her finger across the panties,
smiling when Spike arched up.
 

"So cold" he said softly, his eyes not leaving his body and what it was
doing.
 

"I'll warm you up" she said. She ripped the panties causing him to gasp.
She ran one of her fingers across the slit, feeling the wetness. It was
strange to be doing this and seeing her face flush with pleasure. She
entered her body with one finger. Spike moaned and began to move against
her hand.
 

"Fuck me already" he demanded. She felt that rush of power at his words.
She began to thrust three fingers inside of him. Not even caring that
this was really her body she was assaulting. It was his mind. She leaned
down and ran her mouth over a stiff nipple. His hands moved to her head,
holding her tight against him. She felt her face shift and knew that the
demon had taken over. She removed the hand, standing and stripping off
her pants.

His green eyes watched in appreciation as her body was bared. She
glanced down, gasping at the size of his cock.
 

"I have a penis" she said in wonder, bringing her hands up to rub
against its length. She felt something strange go through her. Smiling
she moved between his legs. "This is going to hurt...Oz wasn't this
size."
 

Spike a bolt of praise at her words. Her blue eyes caught his as he felt
her cock slowly enter his tight passage. His breath caught as she slid
further inside. Never had he felt this many emotions during sex. He
wondered if it was just her or if every woman felt this complete. He
reached up and unfastened the bra, roughly twisting the nipples between
his finger and thumb. She began to move deeper into him, causing him to
gasp and moan. He felt a thumb rub against his swollen nub and about
came off the couch. His head exploded as her body's orgasm went through
him.
 

Willow could hear the flesh slapping flesh. She felt a tightening in her
balls as she sunk in deeper, spilling his body's cold seed deep inside
her own womb. She laid her head on his breast, her teeth softly biting
the warm flesh.
 

Spike tightened his hold on her drained cock. He ran his small hands
through her hair. "Is it always that way for you?"
 

"Never" she said softly in his voice.
 

"Damn."
 

"What?" she looked up at him, her blue eyes curious.
 

"My roots are showing" he said, running his fingers through the bleach
blond mess.
 

He was rewarded with deep laughter that came from her body. "24 hours
you say?"
 

He felt his lips slide up, "Horny thing aren't you?" he said, feeling
the hard erection against his leg.
 

"Better enjoy this while I can. Come tomorrow, you'll be the one fucking
me."
 

"So true" he said, acknowledging that this was just the begginning.
 

"Can I be on top?" he heard himself ask.
 

Willow chuckled, "Sure thing pet."
 

"I see why you like me calling you that. I sound rather sexy."
 

Willow groaned, "Ego man strikes again."
 

Spike leaned up and caught her mouth with his, silencing the protests.
 

****************THE END******************