The Wizard

Wizard

Title: Wizard
Author: Inell
Email: [email protected]
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all; I don't own the movie either.
Distribution: Usual suspects
Rating: R
Feedback: No more begging.
Ok. I have officially gone over the deep end. Please don't call for the
straight jacket until I finish Taste of Heaven. You can blame Pea for
this. We were brainstorming a few days ago and she JOKINGLY said this.
She never explained her idea, just said the three magic words that made
my mind run away from sanity. Sigh. I promise I'm ok. Guess the lack of
feedback got to me. This is completely silly and should be treated
as such.
To Pea----I must blame myself for this farce. Hope it makes you laugh.

WIZARD (1/?)

Willow looked around in surprise. Everything was in Technicolor. Very
bright and happy. She turned, her eyes widening as she saw the house.
She looked down and saw emerald slippers. Slippers that suddenly
appeared on her feet.

"Woof...Woof..."

She looked and started laughing. A wolfed out Oz was kneeling beside
her, jumping around and barking. "Oz?"

"Woof. Woof."

"I see he's good at conversation."

She heard titters and looked around. Suddenly, a ball of white floated
towards her. The ball became a woman.

"Cordelia?"

"I am Cordelia...The good witch of the North. Welcome to Giles, Willow."

"What the hell is going on?"

"The people are happy. You killed Anya, the wicked witch of the East."

"Anya? A witch?"

"Yes. A bad witch. I'm a good witch. Come out, munchkins. Welcome
Willow."

Willow watched as hundreds of little people came out staring at her.
"Larry? Jonathan? Oh my god, that's Harmony and Aurora. Why am I here?"

"You must go see the great and powerful Wizard of Giles to find that
out. The shoes will guide you. Only after seeing the wizard will your
questions be answered. Then, you may return home with your little dog."

"Home?"

"Yes. But be careful of Dru, the wicked witch of the West. She will not
like hearing of the death of her sister. She will do everything to keep
you from finding your answers."

Willow sighed. "Where is the Wizard?"

"Just follow the yellow brick road" Cordelia said smiling.

The little Larry's, Harmony's etc began singing a song and dancing.
Willow called Oz and ran down the road before they could finish the
song.

"Ok. Willow. No more Taco Bell before bed. This is one fucked up
dream..."

She began to make her way down the road, Oz panting and barking beside
her.

WIZARD (2/?)

Willow walked for awhile. The dream world of Giles was very pleasant.
She stumbled upon a field and stopped in surprise. This had to be the
'scarecrow'.

"Hello? Who's here? I know someone has to be waiting for me...."

"Hello luv."

"Spike! You need the brain?"

"Brain? Not that I know of. I was having this nice peaceful dream about
killing the slayer and suddenly I'm here. In the sun. Wait, I'm in the
sun. It's warm. Hey, where is here?"

"Giles." Willow said, wondering what was happening.

Suddenly, a ball of white appeared.

"Good, you found Spike. Now the journey can begin."

"Isn't that the cheerleader?"

"Don't ask. She thinks she's a good witch."

"Humans" Spike muttered.

"Journey?" Willow said to Cordelia,

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "My God. Don't you listen? To see the fucking
Wizard, you geek."

"That's the Cordelia I know and hate."

Cordelia shook her head, "Sorry. I forgot my role. Yes, you must go see
the wizard. He will answer your questions and you can return home. But
weary of the wicked witch of the west. She'll be trying to stop you."

"Bloody hell. I've fallen into the damn Wizard of Oz."

"Woof Woof." Oz said at hearing his name.

"Pray tell, who is the wicked witch?" He asked Willow.

"Drusilla." She saw him glare at her, "Hey, Anya got smooshed by the
house. I'd much rather have seen Dru there than have to face the loony
bitch."

"That's the love of me after life you're talking about..well, used to
be."

"Would you two just go down the damn road? I have an appointment at Six
at the hairstylist."

"Yeah, sure." Willow said, moving down the road.

"Red."

"What Spike?"

"I refuse to sing."

Willow laughed as the unlikely twosome headed to see the Wizard, unaware
of a dark haired witch watching their every move.

WIZARD (3/?)

"So, why are we here again?"

Willow glared at the blond, noticing the way the sun brought out his
eyes. "I don't know."

"This has to be your dream. I mean, I would never dream about this silly
movie."

"Oh...Bambi more your speed?"

"No, his mum died. That made me cr..never mind."

Willow laughed as Oz ran up ahead. "It's ok. I won't tell. Makes you a
bit less scary to know that Bambi brought tears."

"That damn wolf is going to have a heart attack. What do you feed him?"

"I don't feed him. He and I are just friends and have been since we
couldn't make it work back in high school."

"So, this wizard answers our questions and we get to go home. Is that
right?"

"Yep. That's what Cordelia said."

Suddenly, a bright light shone. They looked up and saw Dru in the sky.
"I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too" she cackled before
disappearing.

Willow sighed. "That wasn't expected" she said rolling her eyes.

The two continued walking and talking. Since there was nothing else to
do, they had kept a lively conversation going the whole way. Spike
stopped and listened.

"Someone's out there."

"The tin man" Willow said, smiling. "It's about time he appeared."

Suddenly, Angel walked out of the forest. "Are you two headed to see the
Wizard?"

Spike started laughing. "Peaches is the one without the heart? I can see
that. This is bleeding rich. He doesn't know it's a dream...."

"Appears not. Yes, Angel. We're going to see the Wizard. I'm Willow.
This is Spike. Come with us."

He smiled. "I need a heart. I can't love without a heart."

Willow and Spike started laughing until tears fell down their cheeks as
Angel broke into a lively song and dance routine.

"I didn't know Angel could sing" Willow said in between laughs.

"He can't" Spike said holding his ears.

The three started walking down the road toward Giles. Willow and Spike
still talking while Angel watched them smiling.

"Young love" he said softly.

"Woof. Woof." Oz said.

WIZARD (4/?)

"Lions and tigers and bears Oh my" Willow and Spike sang, laughing as
they entered the dark forest.

"Wonder who the coward will be?" Willow said.

"Woof. Woof." Oz barked.

"Easy pet. It's Chubs."

"You know he hates being called that."

"I know" Spike said grinning. He looked into her laughing green eyes and
froze. He began to move closer towards her, leaning down closer to her,
his hand holding her chin.

Willow held her breath waiting for the kiss. She closed her eyes. He was
so near.

"AAAARRRGHGHH!"

Willow jumped back from Spike. "Xander! Damn it, I'm going to kill you!"

Spike glared at the moron that had halted his kissing the redhead.

"Are you going to the Wizard? I need courage."

"You're going to a need a neck once I rip that one off." Spike said
angrily.

"Let's get to this damn wizard so we can wake up." Willow said walking
ahead of the men.

Spike watched her saucy backside as she walked away. He glared at the
others who were watching the same thing. "Mine" he hissed before
catching up to her.

"We're off to see the wizard" the other two started to sing as they
skipped down the road, arm in arm.

"Woof. Woof." Oz said running to catch up.

WIZARD (5/?)

"Ok. We have the entire gang now. What comes next?"

Willow tried to remember. She had never been very fond of the movie and
hadn't seen it in years. "I think it's time for Dru to get me and my
little dog. Y'all try to rescue me and then I kill her."

"Sounds like fun." Spike said, rolling his eyes. He glared at the other
two. "If they don't stop singing, I'm going to rip them both open."

"Xander, Angel. Stop the music."

The two men stopped singing and smiled at her. "Where is the wizard?"

"We have to defeat a witch first" Spike said. "Then we get to wake up
and get out of this damn dream."

Suddenly, they heard laughter. "Not that easy, Spike."

"Dru. Lovely to see you again. Not. Wait, you aren't part of this damn
thing?"

Dru laughed, "I'm the one that started it. Wanted to see your new love.
Pretty thing isn't she?"

"Love?" Willow squeaked, "He doesn't even like me."

Again Dru laughed, "So naive. She's charming. Now, my dear, you know the
story. I get to take you prisoner now. I am changing things a bit
though. I don't wish to harm you. In fact, I want to help you. Spike
deserves to be happy. So, I'll allow him a chance."

"A chance?" Willow said hesitantly.

"To make you love him. If you do, I'll deliver you to the wizard myself.
If you don't, well, I've always wanted a sister."

Willow looked at Spike and saw the confusion in his eyes. "You'd better
get that cute ass in gear and work some magic. I do not have any wish to
spend the remainder of my life in this hellish dream."

"Huh?"

"Find me, save me. Got it?"

"Yeah, sure. Wait, how can I make you love me?"

"Ask your ex-girlfriend." Willow said, reaching for Dru's hand. "Can we
leave the mutt?"

Dru smiled, "Yes. He can entertain the others while you and Spike have
naughty fun." With that, the two women disappeared.

"Naughty fun?" Spike repeated softly. A sexy smile crossed his lips. "I
get her now. Ok, Willow. I'll save you."

He told the others to stay put and keep singing. He ran off in the
direction of Dru's castle. It was time to demonstrate to Willow just how
he felt. Leave it to Dru to fuck with them like this.

WIZARD (6/6)

Willow watched in amazement as Spike entered her. She cried out, clawing
at his back. He began a steady rhythm that had them both moaning.

She felt her orgasm hit and tightened around his thrusting cock. He bit
into her neck as he came. She sat up quickly at the pain in her neck.
She glanced around. She was back in her dorm room. No silly slippers.

She ran her hand over her neck, remembering the last part of the dream.
Getting out of bed, she threw on her sweats and a shirt. She went
towards Giles' apartment. She had to know if Spike had had the same
stupid dream.

Spike was waiting for her on Giles' steps.

"Hello pet. What brings you here?"

"We never saw the wizard" she said quietly, waiting for his reaction.

He laughed, "I don't think we needed to. Seems Dru set it up so we'd
come home if we both came."

"Oh...sort of like a smutty Wizard of Oz."

"You're blushing." he observed.

"I don't really like the idea that we just had sex, which we both
remember, in a dream. Also, I was wondering what would have happened if
Dorothy just fucked the scarecrow and came home that much sooner. I
can't believe I just verbalized that thought."

"Wondered it myself pet. Trust Dru to mess with a classic."

Willow giggled, "I don't think I can see Xander or Angel without singing
that silly song."

"What about Dog boy?"

"Don't have to worry about that one." She reminded him.

"So."

They both looked at each other for a few minutes, both remembering what
they had just done in the dream.

"Need someone to tuck you in?" Spike asked, grinning.

"Spike!"

"Worth a shot pet. Worth a shot. I could use a bedtime story...."

She smiled and took his offered hand. "I can handle that. I know lots of
stories."

He caught her words with a searing kiss. The door opened and Giles
peered out.

"Oh, my. Sorry." He went back inside.

Willow and Spike looked at each other and then laughed, "Guess we saw
the wizard after all" Willow said softly, capturing his lips again.

******************THE END*************