The Great CASSANDRA Says Its So

By Michelle

TITLE:  the great CASSANDRA says its so

AUTHOR: ~michelle/shelly

EMAIL:  [email protected] or [email protected]

DISCLAIMER:  all belong to Joss and the evil WB/20th Century Fox.  Just having non-profit fun.  No copy infringement intentded.

NOTES:  for the contest!  i did it real quick cause i forgot when the deadline was, but im *sure* its comming up and i must make my list
mommy (you know the one that *abandoned* me for ROSWELL fic, happy...)

RATING: pg13:  bad language.  (no smut, cause that was a RULE.  and MAN, thats HARD for me!  where are you supposed to go if not to
smut?  well, you go here, if you're me:)

"Ooo! Let’s go in here Willow!"

Willow glanced up from her cotton candy to see Buffy headed towards a tent with a sign proclaiming it to be the home of one
CASSANDRA-SEERER-TELLER. She rolled her eyes and sucked in more spun sugar. "Buf-fy! Why do you want to go in there? You can give
me your money and *I’ll* tell you your future!"

Buffy glanced back at her with a grin. "But *you* might tell me the *real* future, Miss Witch!"

Willow smiled. "Fine. How about I give *you* a buck and *you* tell me my future?"

The slayer grinned. "Same goes," she laughed. She grabbed Willow’s hand and pulled her into the line. "Come on. Let’s hear all about the tall
dark strangers were destined to meet and that are gonna just fall down on their knees, ready to worship us!"

Willow stopped beside the grinning slayer. "I don’t want to."

"Don’t be a chicken."

Offended, Willow sputtered, "I am *so* not a chicken!" She declared only to be met with clucking sounds from her friend.

"What? You don’t want to know what’s in store for you? Scared?"

"Buffy. Really. You know this is just a crock."

"Yep. It’s a crock. A *fun* crock. Let’s do it!"

"I don’t think people should take advantage of other’s like this." She said, sincerely. "They just take your money and tell you what they
*think* you want to hear."

"Right!" Buffy grinned at her. "And I wanna hear *wonderful-happy-things*!" Seeing she was getting nowhere, she threw down the gauntlet:
"I *dare* you."

Willow narrowed her eyes. "Fine." She stated firmly. Then grinned. "But *you* pay!"

Buffy grinned in triumph. "Oh, looky! We’re next!"

Willow just rolled her eyes.

*********************************************************************************

The one known as CASSANDRA seemed to favor darkness and smoke. *A lot * of smoke. Willow coughed and waved her hand in front of her
face while she waited in front of the sheer curtain and tacky beads for her turn. She looked around, trying to spot the smoke machine.
Maybe she could unplug the darn thing…

"Well! *Someone* is just *dying* to get to know me better!" Buffy proclaimed with a grin, as she came from behind the beads and curtains.
Willow looked at her radiant face and happy grin and smiled. "So? Good things in store for you?"

"Love is in the air!" Buffy told her. "Now, go. Learn your fate! I’m gonna go get a pepsi and I’ll be back in a few minutes. And, *yes* I paid."

Willow went.

*********************************************************************************

"Ah…you are becoming very powerful, yes?"

"Huh?"

CASSANDRA smiled at her. Willow was seated at a small round table covered with a cheesy blue cloth covered in sparkly yellow stars. There
was a large glass globe in the center. A crystal ball. Right. CASSANDRA looked the part. Small, dark, and beautiful. A cloth matching the
table’s covered most of her of her dark hair. Sparkling dark eyes stared at her intently. The perfect gypsy fortune-teller. Right.

"With the craft, dear." She smiled and reached for Willow’s hand rubbing the open palm with her fingertips.

"Umm-" Willow began.

"Yes." CASSANDRA interrupted her. "Very strong. That is good." She looked in Willow’s eyes. "But you are not happy in love."

"But I am! I’m *very* happy with-"

"No!" CASSANDRA told her firmly. She smiled at Willow and again ran her fingertips over the palm she held. "But this will change."

"Some one, um, tall, dark and handsome this way comes?" Willow asked, skeptically.

CASSANDRA smiled and looked at her. "Dark? Yes. This one is dark. Very dark, my young friend." She smiled mysteriously. "But it is not his
looks that are dark, but his very soul." She crossed her arms on the table and leaned over to closely regard Willow. Her eyes narrowed and
she did not smile as she continued. "This one is dangerous. Heartless. Almost. What heart he has you will capture. But, still, he is capable of
great evil. He does not mind inflicting pain on others." She leaned her head back as if in a trance. Willow was beginning to become
uncomfortable. The great CASSANDRA’s vibes were-well-kinda *real*. Willow shivered just as the woman’s eyes came back to rest on her.
She tilted her head as if contemplating something of great importance. "He does not tolerate pain well, though he inflicts it," she continued,
"he will not want to be part of you, but he will have no choice. He will not want to love you but he will have no choice…"

"What does he look like?" Willow interrupted her, beginning to get *really* uncomfortable now.

CASSANDRA looked confused for a moment. "Look like?"

"Yes. Look like? How will I now this, um, ‘dark’ love of mine?"

"But, dear, you already know him." She gave her the mysterious smile again.

"Kay." Willow smiled and stood. "I’m going to go get some more cotton candy now. It’s been nice, Cassandra, really it has. And, um, who
knows? Maybe my dark love will be working at the cotton candy stand, huh?"

"No, love. He won’t be there. But you look for him, pet. Look for him." CASSANDRA told the retreating Willow.

*********************************************************************************

Willow brought her hand up to shield her eyes, momentarily blinded from the brightness outside the dark tent.

"Well? Love in the air for you, too, Wills?"

Willow squinted her eyes, focusing on Buffy, after a moment. "Um, yes. But with a dark-heartless-meanie, not a tall, dark and handsome
stranger."

"Bummer."

"Well." Willow shrugged her shoulders, good naturedly, "What are you gonna do? The great CASSANDRA declares, so shall it must be!"

Buffy laughed and grabbed her hand. "Yep! It’s *fate*! Nothing to do about it now, but get ice cream and ride the tilt-a-whirl!"

Willow left her feelings of unease behind and headed towards the feelings of stomach-unease, happily forgetting about the powerful
feelings she got from CASSANDRA.

*********************************************************************************

"Damn!" Buffy muttered, reaching for her belt. She pulled a pager from her belt and glanced at the number. "Double damn!"

"What is it?" Willow asked.

"Giles," the slayer moaned.

Willow laughed. "I didn’t know he had you on a pager now!" She stopped laughing and looked worried. "Oh. But this could be bad, though,
huh? I mean, for him to page you on an out being a young person night?"

Buffy smiled at her friend. "Well, not really. Giles has paged me to let me know I don’t have to worry about anything. He hasn’t grasped the
concept of ‘urgent only’ pages. So I don’t go into worried mode till I call him."

*********************************************************************************

Buffy slammed the receiver of the pay phone down hard enough to break it. "Shit!"

"Bad?" Willow asked.

"Bad," Buffy confirmed. "Real bad. Spike bad."

"Spike?" Willow squeaked. "As in William-the-bloody-and-kidnapping-me-Spike?"

Buffy gave her friend a grim look. "Yep." She began walking towards the exit of the carnival. Fast angry steps. She stopped to kick a
garbage can, sending it flying. She stopped. "But it’s worse than just Spike being in town." She told her friend. "It’s Spike being in town, and
apparently having to work with *me*!"

"What?!" Willow asked, running to keep up with Buffy. "Work with you? Why would he do that? Is he trying to get his whacko girlfriend
back again?"

"I don’t know! Giles just told me he was here. That he was here to help and that we needed his help and that I shouldn’t stake him once I got
there!"

"There where?"

"Giles’ place. He mentioned Whistler. Angel’s demon buddy. I don’t know what’s going on but I’m sure as hell not going to let Spike pull
anything! I should have dusted him a *long* time ago!"

"But-well, I mean, now we have to find out what’s going on." Willow began, trying to calm her hotheaded friend. "Let’s just go see what’s
going on."

"Yes. Let’s just do that!"

*********************************************************************************

Spike held the slayer’s stake away from his heart. He grinned up at her. Sure he was a hair’s width away from death, but he’d be damned
before he’d admit he’d rather be working with her and her band of merry slayerttes as opposed to being dusted. He watched as a small hand
wrapped around the slayer’s, staying his execution.

"But, Buffy, what if what he says is *true*? And he really is here to help us? Wouldn’t you feel bad if you staked him and he could’ve, um,
saved the world or something like that?"

Buffy dug the stake into Spike’s chest just a little more. Enough to hurt. Not enough to kill. She took her eyes away from Spike’s to glance at
her friend. That was long enough for Spike to grab the stake from her hand and spring up from the table she had him pinned against.

Spike snapped the stake in half and let the pieces fall to the ground. "Yes, Buffy," he sneered her name. "Listen to the little witch." He made
an exaggerated show of straitening his duster. "I could hold the key to saving the whole bloody world and you just want to fly off the
handle and stake me! You’re an impulsive little bitch, aren’t you?"

Buffy reached behind her back and pulled out another stake, ready to off the annoying vampire. Giles quickly jumped in between her and
Spike’s heart.

"Buffy. You can’t." his tone was regretful. Regretful but final. "You must not stake him, Buffy."

Spike poked his head out from behind Giles’ back and stuck his tongue out at the frustrated slayer. He winked at Willow. When Buffy raised
the stake in her hand he grinned and went behind the watcher again.

"And just why *mustn’t* I dust him, Giles?"

The watcher sighed as he took off his glasses, pausing to clean them with his handkerchief. "Because. He may hold the key to saving the
whole bloody world."

Spike laughed and stepped out from behind the watcher. "And what do you think about *that* slayer?" He asked, smirking. He spread his
arms out at his side, hands open. "What, luv? Cat got your tongue?"

Buffy smiled at her unwanted partner and took a step forward, plunging her stake into one of his upraised palms.

She smirked back at him. "Nope. The cat remains Buffy-tongue-less. But it looks like Spikey has an owie."

"You bloody bitch!" Spike screamed. He brought his wounded hand close to his face and looked at the stake going through his hand
disbelievingly. "You’re lucky *I’ll* die if I fucking kill you!*

"Buffy, really, we need to keep calm-" Giles began.

"Buffy! Spike is here to help us! You just can’t start putting stakes in his body parts!" Willow told her. She moved to Spike and took his
injured hand in hers. Buffy rolled her eyes. "I’m sure he’ll live. Or *un*live. Whatever!"

Willow led Spike to a chair and pushed him down. She raised his staked hand over his head and told him to keep it there. "I’ll be right back."
She told him.

Spike watched her walk away and admired the view. He turned his gaze to the slayer. "Your witch is awful cute." He flashed his fangs at
her. "I think she likes me." He batted his eyes at her.

Buffy advanced towards him, menace in every step. "You stay away from her, Spike, or I swear ill tear your unbeating heart out and-"

"Buffy! Haven’t you done enough?!" Willow came to Spike’s rescue. She was armed with gauze, tape and hydrogen peroxide. She kneeled
down next to the chair Spike was sitting in. "Let me just clean you up, kay?"

"Sure, thing, pet. But I don’t think my roots need a touch up, just yet."

"Huh?" Willow asked as she poured the peroxide over his palm and pulled the stake out.

Spike screamed and snatched his hand away. "JUST WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME, WITCH?"

Willow stayed calm in the face of his wrath and snatched his hand back towards her. She blew a cool steam of air at the injured area.
"Hydrogen peroxide does *not* burn, Spike." She informed him, glancing up at him under her lashes. She smiled. The smile captured his
interest. But only *so* much. He snatched his hand away. "No. Maybe it *doesn’t* pet, but pulling a sodding long wooden stake from a
vampire’s hand bloody well *burns* witch!"

"I could stake you, Spike. Put you out of our-I mean, *your*-misery." Buffy offered, enjoying his pain.

Spike looked up from the torture the little red headed witch was inflicting upon him to glare at the slayer. "No. Thank. You. Bitch." He spat.
"I’ll take the witches ministrations over yours any day. Even though I *know* you’re just dying to get your hands on me." He grinned at her
gasp of dismay. "Come on, slayer, you know you want me!" He laughed as she lunged at him and the watcher grabbed her, holding her at bay.
"My poof of a sire might not have given you a second go but you’re pretty sure ole Spike could give you a couple or three go arounds, aren’t
you slayer?" He snickered. "Don’t think I didn’t notice how you felt me up the last time we fought! You want ole Spike don’t yo-Ow! *WHAT*
are you trying to do to me, witch?"

"Splinter." Willow told him.

"Humph. Splinter. Sure." He leaned down to whisper into Willow’s ear. "Don’t be jealous, witch. I don’t want the slayer!" he kissed the shell
of her ear. "Bloody bitch that she is, who’d want her anyway? She’s fun to tease, sure, but you know its *you* I really want." He chuckled
until Willow stuck his already torn hand with another splinter. "Damn it! Can’t you damn women take a joke! A little funny to lighten the mood!
World coming to an end, yes, and all that sodding shit, but damn it! must we go all non-humor about it!!?" His eyes flashed yellow and his
face shifted into demon mode as he growled at Willow. He pulled his hand away and brought it to his mouth, sucking at the wound.

"Primitive, much, there Spike?" Buffy taunted.

Spike grabbed the witch up by her arm and pulled her to sit upon his lap. "Sit here and keep me from feasting on your friend,
super-bitch-slayer, pet." He whispered into her ear. "Be a good witch. You’re supposed to want to calm savage beasts, luv, not hurt them. I
don’t like pain, pet!"

"Oh. Stop being such a baby! For a big ole bad vampire you sure are a wuss!"

Buffy rose, ready to battle for her friend. Willow held up her hand. "Its okay, Buffy. Really. Infact, its kinda nice." She bounced a bit on
Spike’s lap. He groaned. Buffy made gagging noises. "No! I mean it’s nice in a um *tall* kinda way. Nice in a I have a bloodthirsty demon
under me and you don’t kinda way!-oh. That doesn’t sound right, does it?"

"I think we should get back to the saving of the world from hell defying demons, now, children. Unless Buffy and Spike want to fight over
whom gets to have Willow sit on their respective laps." Giles declared.

"Watcher!-"

"Giles, really, you *can* take sarcasm too far, you know!"

"Yes, well. The world as we know it will be ending soon so I took liberties. Forgive me."

"Again with the sarcasm!"

Giles rolled his eyes, but ignored his slayer, instead reaching for the heavy tomb that held the secret to the newest world ending-prophecy

"Now whistler did tell us and Spike a few-"

"Yes! What *about* that?! Can you really trust that bloody demon?" Spike demanded, wrapping his arms around Willow’s waist and resting
his chin on her shoulder. "I mean, bloody hell, I have to do what he says because- well, never mind *my* reasons, but why do *you* good
doers have to listen to him? Maybe he’s just yanking your bloody gullible chains?"

Giles cleared his throat. Loudly. "I truly do not believe Whistler, demon that his is-benevolent* demon that he is would try to, er, yank our
chains, about so serious a matter."

"You say ‘benevolent’ and ‘demon’ like they really go together, watcher" Spike sneered. He coughed when Willow jabbed her elbow into his
ribs.

"Demons *can* be all right, Spike. I’m sure lots of demons can be, um, *un*-demonic!"

"Willow, move, so I can dust this looser and we can get back to business!" Buffy shouted.

"Now, be calm, Buffy." Willow began as Spike clutched her closer to his chest. He once again stuck his tongue out at the slayer from behind
a protective wall of slayer-friend flesh.

"Enough!" Giles yelled, slamming the heavy book upon the table for emphasis.

"You’re right, Giles. Save the world first; stake the bleached blond next. See? I’m aware of the natural order of things."

"Gonna stake yourself, then, pet?"

Buffy whirled around to face the smirking vampire. "I *highlight* my hair! I do *not* bleach it!"

"Well, really. It will not matter whom does *what* when we are all dead because we can not stop arguing hair color long enough to save the
world. I myself felt comfortable enough to let the gray come out in *my* hair. Willow? Are you highlighting or is the red all yours?"

Willow sat up straight and tall in Spike’s lap. "I’m ready to fight evil Giles. Don’t be mad at *me*."

"All right, Captain Sarcasm, lead us to redemption."

Giles pushed his glasses up. "If I *may*."

"You tell her, watcher! Found your wrinklies I see!"

"The world!" Willow interrupted the newest argument.

********************************************************************************

"So that’s it? That’s the big deal? A bleedin’ chaos demon come to the hellmouth?"

"Hey! Isn’t that the demon your crazy woman left you for, Spike?" Buffy asked with an evil grin.

Spike pushed Willow off of his lap and stood to face the slayer. "Why, yes. That *is* the demon she left me for. They are really *well*
hung, Slayer, I just can’t compete…" Spike began, "In *fact*, I do believe I lost *another* lover to one, a long time ago…Now who was that,
again? Humm…let me think…O! yes! It was *our* Angel! My! How he loved him self some chaos demon! Why I do believe he couldn’t stay
*away* from them! Four or five times a night! Sometimes *all* night!"

"You *lie*, Spike!"

"Do I, slayer?" Spike smirked at her. "I could tell you stories that would cur-OW! DAMMIT WITCH! What are you trying to do to me?" Spike
yelled as Willow pulled his injured hand towards her.

"I never bandaged your hand, Spike. Don’t be such a baby. Like I said: for such a tough guy, you sure are a big wus…" Willow’s voice trailed
off and she looked up at Spike with stricken eyes.

"What, witch? I’m a big ole-what? Willow? Witch?"

"Wuss." Willow coughed. "Umm…you’re a big ole wuss."

"I just need tender luvin’ care, witch." He grinned down at her. "You all right, witch?" he asked, unexpected tenderness in his voice.

Willow’s hands were shaking as she wrapped the demon’s hand in gauze and tape. "Um, yes. I-I’m okay. Really. I, ah, just didn’t think you’d
be such a whimp where pain is concerned."

"I like *inflicting* pain, sweet, I don’t like *receiving* it. Most demons, or mortals, feel the same way, pet." He told her as she placed the
last bit of tape on his wound. "Course, luv, if you wanna try and hurt me, I might just let you…"

"Oh, lets not be any more gross than we need to! How do we kill the chaos demon?" Buffy demanded.

Spike kept his eyes on Willow for a moment longer before turning to the slayer. "Well, we could always have you sleep with it. That should
get rid of it soon enough."

"Spike!"

"Listen, bleach-boy-"

"Now, really, Spike-"

Spike just laughed at them all. "Fine! Obvisouly you don’t want the *easy* way out…It’s a simple enough spell to rid the hellmouth of a chaos
demon. I’m sure you’ve got one squirreled away, watcher. Try looking under DEMONS OF INFINITE CHAOS."

"Oh! Why yes. Yes, ofcourse. What was I thinking?" Giles walked off in search of more texts.

"If it was so damn easy, why didn’t *you* do it, blondie?"

Spike sat back down, pulling Willow back onto his lap. Hi licked her neck. Willow shivered and Buffy grabbed a stake. Spike laughed. "Are
you covered in those bloody things, slayer?"

"Yes!"

"Humph…Witchy likes me, don’t you Witchy-poo?"

"Yes." Willow stated, deadpan.

"Willow?" Buffy gasped, appalled.

"Um, well, I kinda, um *do*"

"Anyway, you can only kill a chaos demon when it is at a hellmouth." Spike told them, ignoring the last conversation.

"Then why would it come to a hellmouth, fangboy?"

"Well, it can also only mate at a hellmouth, dearie." He put his nose to Willow’s hair. "You smell good, pet. What’s that you’re wearing?" He
looked back at Buffy. "I do believe the chaos demon is in heat. That can only mean *more* chaos demons. And that can only mean one thing!"
he paused, waiting until he had everyone’s attention. "We need to scotch gaurd my coat."

"Since when did you become Mr. Funny-ha-ha man, Spike?" Buffy demanded, ignoring the urge to grin.

"Bloody hell, slayer. I’m a very amusing demon. Always have been."

"This I know. You are certainly a big joke as far as *I’m* concerned."

"Snippy little bitch."

"Yes!" Giles returned, holding an open book in his hands. "Yes! This shouldn’t be too hard at all." He stated, scanning pages. "We’ll need a
few things, of course...humm…yes…yes, I have this…I can get this…oh…’the blood of a pure demon’ " he read.

All eyes turned to Spike.

"Can I bleed, him Giles? Can I? Pretty please, can I?" Buffy asked, delight written all over her face, as she bounced, clapping her hands in
anticipation.

"Hell *no* you cant *bleed* me slayer-"

"I can do it Giles." Willow offered.

"I can bloody well cut myself should the need arise! You’ve the nerve to call *me* bloodthirsty! Sick little monkeys!"

"’Sick little monkeys’?" Willow giggled.

Spike turned to stare at her. Her giggle tingled along his spine. He smiled. "You want my blood, red? We can do a whole exchange if you’d
like."

"That *won’t* be necessary, Spike." Giles said. "We need only a few drops, and you can certainly, uh, live without a few drops."

"You’re forgetting I’ve *already* lost quite a few bloody drops, thanks to your bloody slayer!" He snipped, holding up his bandaged hand.

"Ah! Poor baby." Buffy laughed at him. " ‘Sides, you sucked most of it back." She grinned.

Giles dropped the heavy book on the table causing the group to jump.

"Yes. Well. Back to saving the world, shall we?" He looked each in the eye, making sure he had their attention once again. "Willow?"

"Yes, Giles?"

He nodded his head in approval. "You’ll come with me. We need to gather the ingredients for the spell." Willow jumped up from Spike’s lap.
She gave a smart salute. "Ready whenever you are, Giles."

Spike snatched her back down. "And what shall I do, watcher, while you go out shopping with the witch?"

Giles looked at him over his glasses. He sighed. "You will stay here with Buffy and continue to read up on the spell to vanquish the demon."

"No I don’t think so-" Spike began.

"Not bloody likely." Buffy said, with a bad British accent.

"*Yes*. You will. The *both* of you will stay here and do *as I say*!" His tone of voice brooked no argument. "We *will* once more save the
world. You may then, afterwards, fight to the death at your leisure."

"Giles!"

"Calm down, watcher."

Giles ignored the two combatants. "Willow. Let’s go."

Giles walked off without a backward glance. Willow once again got up from Spike’s lap. She looked back at Spike and Buffy. "You two play
nice." She told them, worry creeping into her voice. She followed Giles out the door.

Spike and Buffy snarled at each other. After a moment Spike pushed one of the books towards her. "Here. You read this one." He then
grabbed the one Giles dropped down and began to scan the pages, ignoring the slayer.

"Hope we won’t need the blood of a virgin." Spike muttered under his breath. He just snickered when Buffy's hand met with the side of his
head.

************************************************************************

"One thing about the hellmouth, we are never short of "freshly dug" grave dirt, eh Giles?" Willow asked as she scooped up dirt and placed it
in a mason jar.

"Willow," Giles began, taking the sealed jar from her and placing it the shopping bag he held. "I couldn’t help but notice your, um, interest in
Spike. I really think-"

"Don’t worry, Giles." Willow cut him off. "It’ll be fine." She shrugged her shoulders and threw up her hands. "It’s fate." She dusted off her
hands and began walking towards the cemetery exit. "Spike’s my dark wimpy meany." She looked back at him and grinned. "The great
CASSANDRA declared it so. So it is."

"The ‘great Cassandra?’"

"Yes. From the carnival. A fortuneteller. She said I’d fall for a ‘dark-soul-having-guy that doesn’t like pain’ and I guess I have."

"Oh. Well, then, of course." Giles said, relived. He was sure she was kidding.

"We’d better get back to them. I hope they haven’t killed each other. It probably wasn’t very wise to leave them alone."

"Nope." Willow agreed. "Probably not wise at all."

***************************************************************************

The snarls and grunting could be heard from the sidewalk leading up to Giles place. Willow and Giles rushed through the door expecting the
worse.

"Give it up, slayer!"

"You’re sweating, blondie."

"I don’t sweat, little girl. You must be smelling your own musk. You *are* getting a little ripe, pet. Too much for you?"

Spike and Buffy were arm wrestling. Hands straight up, elbows firmly planted on the table. Each straining, neither giving an inch. Both
turned to look at the other’s entrance.

"Get everything we need, guys?" Buffy asked not relenting in her struggle to dominate Spike.

"Yeah. Everything go all right, witch?"

"Oh, my yes. We’ve had a wonderful time. Gathering up slugs, grave dirt, pond scum and the like, while you two have been playing *games*!"
Willow huffed. She stomped towards the pair. "I can’t believe you two!"

Both looked up at her, still not giving an inch. "What?" They asked.

"What?!" Willow asked, astonished at their combined idiocy. "What?! Giles! Tell them they’re bad! Bad and stupid! Bad, stupid, and, and,
um…just bad!" She stomped her foot for emphasis.

Giles came to the table and began to unload his bag. "You are both very bad." He looked over at Willow. At her glare he added, "and stupid."
He finished unpacking. "But not so stupid that you haven’t finished with the reading, I trust?"

"We’re up to date on chaos demons, Giles." Buffy grunted, exserting all her energy on bringing down Spike’s arm.

"Yes. I now know more than I ever wanted to about the nasty things."

"Well, bravo. Good show, and all that. Let’s get back to saving the world."

"Just as soon as slutty-the-vampire slayer, here, give’s in."

"Oh! You *vampire*!" Buffy retorted, doubling her effort.

"Careful, luv, you’ll wound my sensitive soul with comments like that!" Spike retorted, increasing the pressure on his end.

Giles looked at each. He placed his hands on each of the combatants shoulder’s and squeezed.

"Ow-"

"What the-"

Spike’s and Buffy’s arms both went numb.

"How about that? A draw." Giles stated, as he watched their arms fall to the table. "Let’s get going with the spell, shall we?"

"Ha! You’re both losers, cause you’ve both been bad!" Willow told them.

"Willow, pet, you need to kiss me and make me feel better."

"You leave my witch *alone*! I mean, leave Willow alone, dammit Spike! Leave Willow alone!"

Spike wiggled his eyebrows. "Willow, pet! Are you and the slayer playing games I’d wanna watch? I never would have thought of you going
that way! The slayer, sure. She’s a big ole slut, I can tell, but *you* pet? Why, I’m flabbergasted! And a might bit shocked!"

"Oh shut up Spike!" Buffy yelled, punching him in the arm.

"You want to fight for her, slayer? Right here? Right now? I’m ready."

"Shut up, *both* of you!" Willow demanded. "We need to get the spell ready." She gave Spike an evil glare. "You’re not funny."

He winked at her. "I can’t help it if she want’s to come between us, pet. I can only fight for what’s mine. Just how long have you two been,
you know, *been* with each other?"

Willow and Buffy’s hands, both, smacked him in the back of the head.

"You are *not* funny." They said in unison.

"Stereo." Spike smirked.

"All right, Spike. I need your blood." Giles stated, holding aloft a wicked looking knife.

******************************************************************************

"Okay. So, um, that’s *it*?" Willow asked. "Spell chanted, and that’s all we need to do?"

"Yes. That should be all that is necessary to send the chaos demon, or demons, as the case may be, back to where every they came from."
Giles answered.

"You’re sure, Giles? That seemed *awful* easy. Sorta *anticlimatic*"

"And *you’d* know about that, eh, slayer?" Spike smirked.

"Yes, well, sometimes, it *is* easy, Buffy." Giles answered, interrupting Buffy’s retort.

"*Easy*, hell! I lost a lot of blood, people! *And* I had to be alone with the *slayer* people! I want a reward!" Spike demanded.

"Yes. Spike deserves a reward. Giles? Got a dog bone?" Buffy asked.

"I *want* the *witch*!"

"Well, you can’t *have* the witch!"

"Um…the *witch* *can* *speak*!" Willow told them.

When all eyes turned to her, Willow spoke. "Spike?"

Spike smirked at Buffy. "Yes, pet?"

"Walk me home, please."

"Willow!"

"Shut *up*, Buffy."

Spike just snickered. "You’ll invite me in, pet?"

"We’ll see." Willow murmured as she led him out the door.

~the end.