For The Record

Title: For The Record 1/1

Author: Nita

Rating: PG 13

Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, WB, Fox, and
Microsoft. Oh. Not Microsoft. Sorry. :D

Distribution: Insert self promotion here: My new site
is called Willow’s Loft which is going to be launched
on Valentine’s day. It will have fics from sveral
writers that are light-hearted or sappy even. In short
NO ANGST!

Dedication: To my awesome and amazingly patient beta,
Quienna! Also goes out to the Princess of Darkness! :P

***
25 Jan 2000. 2025hrs.

WILLOW ROSENBURG:
<frowns and pushes a strand of hair behind her ears>

For the record, SPIKE KISSED ME ! Yeah, I know what
he'll say. That I came on to him. What do you expect
from that blond cutip ! God ! If his ego were
edible, it could feed half the third world countries !
Honestly ! You would think that he would get his
facts straight, before making up those lies. Who came
to whose room? Who was on top of whom ? And whose
clothes were mussed up ? Ok, so that last one was
me, but that was because he attacked me ! One minute
he's saying how sorry he is and flashing a grin, and
the next he is staring at me with those ice blue eyes
of his

…I-I mean like-like as if he’s trying to hypnotize me
or something. An-and then all of a sudden BAM ! His
hands are all over me and his mouth is cutting off my
oxygen supply ! Now you saw him on top of me ! How
could that be if I came on to him and when he was
unwilling ? Hmm ? Tell me that !

SPIKE AKA WILLIAM THE BLOODY:
<lights a cigarette and takes a drag>

I’ll tell you something. It doesn’t surprise me. Red
has always had a thing for me. I mean all that
nervous energy around me ?? What fool wouldn't figure
out the reason behind that ? She knows that the
implant doesn’t allow me to hurt anyone so there's no
way in hell she was afraid of me. The chit wanted me
!
That’s the real reason she’s always blushing and
babbling around me. Do you really think she was
pissed off when I insinuated that she has fantasies
about me and that's why she cast that spell about me
and the Slayer ? Ha! Not bloody likely ! I'm
betting she knew that you'd make me apologize !
That's why she was waiting in her bedclothes in her
dorm room. Come on ! It was 9 pm. Who goes to bed
at 9pm ? I’ll tell you who ! Little kiddoes past
bedtime and folks who are planning on getting laid !
That’s who !

So I went over to apologize and she standing there in
that teeny weeny tank top and boxers. I started to
say that I was just horsing 'round earlier and that I
was sorry but she was just staring at me lustily. The
next thing I know she pulls me atop o' her and begins
to tongue me ! I'm not made of stone, you know ! Got
to hand it to her though. Chit knows how to kiss !

ALEXANDER HARRIS:
<Picks out a donut form the box. Jelly donut. The
last jelly donut>

Khushing...
<swallows the food, then leans over and brushes the
crumbs away from the tape recorder>
... I’m sorry… Kissing ! I couldn’t believe it ! I
think I saw my life pass before my eyes when I saw
Willow and Spike on the bed ! Willow ! And Spike !
At first I thought that Spike was trying to kill
Willow. Ok, so fangs usually work better in the throat
and not in the mouth and also he didn’t have fangs,
but hey ! I was in shock alright ?! Anyway De-fanged
Boy was on top of Willow so I then thought that he was
trying to rape her or something. But then I saw
Willow’s hand…

...this is hard for me to say even now…her hand was
behind his neck. Let’s just say that if she was
trying to get away, she wasn’t fighting too hard. So
that was when Buffy gasped. It was almost funny to
see the speed at which both their heads turned towards
the door. I’m surprised they didn’t get whiplash.
Anyway the second they saw us, they tried to untangle
themselves so quickly that they fell off the bed.
That was when Buffy started to laugh hysterically.
Needless to say, I was very worried. Willow!….And
Spike!...And Buffy laughing at...WILLOW AND
SPIKE!...Sorry.

BUFFY SUMMERS:
<Adjusts her short skirt and crosses her legs.>

I couldn’t help it. It was so funny ! You should
have seen the expression on their faces ! It was
priceless. I can’t say what they were more shocked
at. The fact that they were in each other’s arms or
the fact that Xander and I were there. They looked at
me and then at each other and then began to untangle
themselves. It took awhile, so you can guess just how
::ahem:: tangled they were. Anyway, they weren’t
successful and ended up on the ground. That was when
I cracked. I didn’t know what was going on but it was
just so funny ! I don’t know why I didn’t just stake
Spike’s ass or shake some sense into Willow’s head.
All I could do was wipe the tears from my eyes as I
laughed. Do you think it I was suffering from shock ?
Hysteria ?

RUPERT GILES:
<Seems to be looking for a jelly donut. Seeing that
none are left, he sighs, then removes his glasses and
pinches the bridge of his nose>

I just got through with the individual accounts of
what happened. Spike. He’s been a thorn in my side
since day one. In any case I'm more inclined to
believe Willow. Then again since Spike's credibility
in my book is nill, asking my opinion is utterly
pointless.... Would you happen to have any asprin ? I
seem feel a headache coming on.

ANYA ?
<Seems to be looking for someone>

What ? Spike and Willow ? Yeah. They want each
other
bad. Won’t admit it though. If you ask me, they
should just get on with it. I mean it’s only fair.
Giles has his orgasm friend, Xander and I go at it on
a
regular basis, and Buffy...now Buffy has been…MMPHhh.

Session over. To be continued.

***
The end.