Home

By Cotti

Title: Home (comes after Black)
Author: Cotti. ([email protected])
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Not mine, people are Joss’, lyrics are Sarah McLachlan’s.
Distribution: Fire & Ice, else ask.
Feedback: please!

 

Child walks to the river
Looks as far as she can see
Draws each breath as if it were her last
And wipes away the tears across her sleeve
She can see where the river crawls to the sea
Like a baby into mother’s care
Somehow the longing’s so far away
The innocence so wasted and aware
Look at the child with the dream in her eyes
Holding it deep inside her
Thinking of home…
So much anger so deeply ingrained
Seemed a burden that was hers alone
She didn’t think that there was anything wrong
With wanting a life that she could call her own
How could I explain? you would not want to hear
You wouldn’t listen if I talked anyway
For you were too weighed down by your own fear
Look at the child with the dream in her eyes
Holding it deep inside her
Home…
-Home, Sarah McLachlan

Willow stood in paradise, surrounded by beauty, her heart ached and her
soul cried out at the injustice done to her. She looked like an angel,
her red hair tumbling around her shoulders, brushing the back of her
white linen gown as she walked. She stood at the gates, looking out
through their painfully real bars. Her tears fell towards her lover, his
tortured form visible from the height she stood at. She shivered,
closing her eyes. She dabbed her tears with the sleeved of her gown and
looked down at him.
He had lived a blood filled life, and unlife, and she knew, sadly, that
he had been destined for such a bloody afterlife that he was now
experiencing. She closed her eyes tightly, focusing on the time they had
had together. She had been innocent once, long ago, before she could
remember. She longed for him with every nuance of her being. She would
have that again, she was determined to be with him, come hell or high
water. She felt a pair of eyes on her. She did not turn.
A fury still burned within her, she had been held out of paradise for so
long, kept in the horrible darkness, away from light, away from sound,
away from him. She had waited without complaint, knowing that someday
she would be home, in his arms, and they could share the eternity they
had been denied. But now, now golden gates, too high to climb,
impossible to slip through barred her from him, barred her from the
happiness she deserved.
The figure still stood behind her as she watched her lover tortured in
innumerable ways. What she wouldn’t give to be with him, even in hell,
it would be better then the loneliness she felt. A stern voice commanded
her.
“Get away from the gates child,” the words were forceful and commanding,
but she remained still, clinging to the golden bars. The man behind her
way trying to decide whether she was looking in on something she needed,
or looking out from someplace she didn’t want. A hand touched her arm
and she turned to look at her assailant. His face was vaguely familiar.
“Angel,” she muttered coldly, hating him for being in paradise when he
had a bloodier past than her lover. She turned back to the bars looking
out.
“Step back from the bars,” he commanded again. She wanted to tell him
how much she wanted to join her lover. How much she hated paradise
without him. She remained silent, knowing he would never understand. He
could never know her anguish, he had never felt the loss that she felt.
She looked down at her lover, who stared up at her, their eyes meeting
for a moment and she reached out for him, stretching her arm through the
metal barriers that stood between them, denying their love. She shrieked
in agony when she was ripped away from the bars, tears of torment
spilled down her cheeks. She pushed off the form that held her and
rushed back to the gate, reaching out for him, he reached up for her,
but was forced back into his pit of despair. She cried out, drawing eyes
and stares of shock and vague terror towards her as she grappled with
the man trying to pull her back from the bars. She pulled away a final
time and clung to the bars desperately, calling out his name in pure
agony.
“Spike!” his eyes filled with tears as he saw her struggling to join
him. He reached up for her, whispering her name as a streak of white-hot
pain shot though him.
“Willow,” it was so soft, but she heard it, and she collapsed, violent
sobs wracking her tiny frame. She hated everything. She wanted to leave.
A soothing voice filled the paradise in which she was imprisoned.
“Why do you cry, child?” it asked, unaware of the long separation she
had endured. “Paradise is a place of peace, not pain.”
“There is no peace without him,” she moaned despondently. “There is
nothing but pain here, and anywhere that he is not!” her mind screamed
at the questioner.
‘He deserves punishment for his crimes,” the hidden speaker stated.
“Then let me join him!” she howled, tears flooding her eyes.
“You have done no evil,” was the reply, “you cannot endure that
torture.”
“I cannot endure the torture of his absence!” she sobbed, shaking.
“There is no other way,” the hidden orator
“Then you condemn me to a fate worse than hell!” she wailed, throwing
herself once again upon the bars. The hidden orator considered her
words, watching her throw herself upon the gates countless times. He
sighed. No innocent should suffer so. A blinding white light surrounded
both Willow and Spike, dissolving them.
Willow found herself upon the dusty floor of the mansion, only a foot
away from her was Spike. She crawled over to him, touching his hand.
‘Warm?’ she thought, laying her head on his chest. She heard the
thundering of his heart. She smiled, silent tears of joy falling from
her eyes.
She was home.

******

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