Mistletoes And Secrets

By Elka

Title: Mistletoe and Secrets
Author: Elka Carpenter
Email: [email protected]
Rating: PG
Part: 1 of ?
Order: First part, hence, one.
Spoilers: Season four. Spike is still tied up and unbitey in Giles'
bathtub.
'Something Blue' DID happen, wow.
Distribution: The regulars, ask if want.
Disclaimer: Joss is the wind beneath my wings.
Feedback: I lick feedback.
Author's Notes: All the wonderful Christmasy stories, had to write my
own.
Actually two. This is the sappy sweet one, the angsty, smutty one is
coming.
Inell, alert the media, it's sap! You're effecting me, little bird.
Squeak.

-----

He loved the way she talked.

The way the words spilled from her lips, it left him mesmerized, he
could
listen to her all day long.

He did.

Spike had been stuck at Giles' for a little over a month, chained in
the
bathtub most of the time. The other avengers had pretty much abandoned
him,
feeding him when necessary, bringing him something if he begged enough,
but
for the most part, they could care less that he was there.

But not Willow.

She came and sat with him when it was her turn to vamp-sit. She'd pull
a
little footstool into the bathroom and tell him all kinds of stories.
What
was happening at school, things he had missed between gigs in
Sunnydale, how
much she missed Oz.

The vampire had witnessed a complete 180 on the part of the little
witch,
how she took all her pain, learned to deal with it by confronting it. A
haywire spell or two later, he felt her on the road to recovery, but
she
still spoke of the wolf in a wistful tone.

"...so I looked at Riley, then at Buffy, and I couldn't help laughing.
It's
just so funny how he acts around her, the way it's so obvious how much
he
cares about her, but can't bring himself to tell her."

Willow sighed happily, relating the tale to him. Spike resisted a sigh
of
his own, studying her mouth as a smile passed over the glossed pink
lips. So
innocent and sweet, she looked.

She glanced at her watch. "Ooh. I have to go, English paper won't write
itself."

Willow stood, shouldering her bag. "I'll be here early tomorrow morning
before class."

"See you then, pet."

She gave him one last smile before hurrying out the room.

Spike released the sigh he had been holding in. "'Can't bring himself
to
tell her...'"

-----

Spike felt like a ninny.

He tapped his foot impatiently against the edge of the tub. Willow was
a
good four minutes late. He shouted to the librarian once again.

"Giles! What of all this? She's late."

Giles, at the end of his rapidly fraying rope, stormed into the
bathroom.

"Willow will be here when she gets here. Now stop whining about it or
I'll
be forced to gag you."

Spike sighed. "Fine, fine. Just go on with you."

"Yes, well, I'm leaving now. I'm meeting a lady friend of mine and
we'll be
out for quite awhile. Please tell Willow that she shouldn't feel
obligated
to stay with you the entire time." Giles removed his glasses. "I
wouldn't
wish that upon anyone."

Before Spike could retort, Giles left, slamming the door behind him.
The
apartment fell silent.

The vampire sighed, closing his eyes.

He jumped when a pleasant voice entered the room.

"I come bearing gifts." Willow announced, her voice echoing slightly
off the
ceramic.

Spike looked wearily to the paper sack she clutched in her arms.
"Gifts?"

She set the bag down to rummage through it's contents. "Gifts. You're,
uh,
you're bathtub here isn't nearly festive enough." She pulled out a long
strand of red garland.

"It's lovely. Very...very red. But I don't really celebrate Christmas.
I got
bored of it afet about a hundred years."

Willow stood on the stoo, draping the decoration over the shower
cutratin.
"Neither do I, but that doesn't mean you need to be a Scrooge."

"I actually met Dickens. Not the brightest bloke in the square."

"Yes. I'm sure his intelligence is hardly comparable to yours."

Willow leaned across the chained vampire to tape the garland to the
wall.
Her cheek brushed his cool lips as she stretched over him.

He took in her scent, feeling her heat radiate off her face, his eyes
closing to the half.

"Oh, it's getting colder already."

Spike's face dropped at the comment.

-----

Willow stood back to admire her handiwork. The red and green garland
looped
around the bathtub, the strings of lights framed the mirror, even a
miniature tree sat on the television brought in to amuse Spike.

"Looks nice. Just hope Giles doesn't want to take a tub." Her brow
furrowed.
"What is the cleansing arrangement, anyway?"

Spike avoided her gaze. "You don't ask, I don't tell."

"Ah." She nodded and sat down next to him, elbows propped on the
ceramic
edge. "Okey-dokey. None of my business. Yup."

Willow searched for words. Over the past month, she had said pretty
much all
she had to say, there was nothing left. She'd done all the talking.

"So, we've chewed about school, Oz, and my incompetancy around the
opposite
sex. I want to know something about you."

Spike was taken off guard. No one had asked about him before.

"About me?"

"Sure. I mean you're old. You've lived through all kinds of interesting
stuff. Tell me about your past." She smiled, leaning in closer.

Spike chuckled and shook his head. "My past isn't exactly a fairy tale.
You
wouldn't want to hear about that and all, luv."

"Oh, come on. I've seen all kinds of things of the bad, being a
Hellmouth
resident. I want to know. Tell me about your life, pre-vamp." Willow
cajoled
him with a grin.

Spike's face went cold as he strained to remember the bitter memories
he had
of his human life.

"It wasn't easy, back then. Grew up in England, you know. Wasn't
exactly
high-society. I quit school after I finished my fifth year, didn't like
it
much, school. My mum tried, but she couldn't work, she was real sick,
but
the docs wouldn't help her because we weren't rich. My pop was an
absentee,
set the trend for modern times, he did. Never around when you needed
him. I
took care of things when he was off getting sloshed."

He paused for a moment before continuing. He glanced into the wide
green
eyes hanging intently on his words.

"She got sicker and sicker, my mum. I came home one evening from the
troughs
and she had died. I went out in the street and that's when I met
Drusilla.
Her eyes, those lovely brown eyes, with the long magnetic lashes. She
lured
me into an alley and bit me. Next thing I knew I woke up and they told
me I
was a vampire. Angelus had sired me. We ran together for awhile. I
forgot
all about her, didn't think about her again for years..."

"Your mom?"

"Yeah. I don't know what happened to her, guess someone found her after
awhile." He forced a laugh. "Good times, good times."

Willow regarded him solemnly. "Wasn't there any good?"

He stared at her, the innocence etched in her face, but the knowledge.

"There was a girl." He recalled. "I was smitten with her for quite some
time. Fell in love with her after a bit of time."

Willow smiled. "Tell me about her."

Spike nodded slowly. "She had skin, amazing skin, creamy and smooth.
And
this smile, men would line up and kill just to recieve a smile from
her. It
was electrifying."

He stopped, lost in the memory. Willow brought him back to earth.

"What else?"

Spike studied her waiting smile and wide eyes.

"Red hair." He said. "And sparkling green eyes."

-----

Willow blinked.

She didn't get the connection. Her expression softened.

"Like me?"

He resisted, not able to admit the truth.

"Yes, luv, just like you."

She nodded. "What else about her? What was she like?"

Spike paused.

"Well, she was wonderful, friendly, and sweet. Made me teeth ache after
a
bit, but in the good way, you know?" He smiled, looking thoughtful.
"She
cared so much about others that it sometimes blinded herself to her own
pain. She just gave and gave until it seemed like she could give no
more and
she just turned around and gave some more."

He looked at her carefully.

"You remind me of her."

"Is that why you always look sad around me?"

"Sad?" He was surprised at her perception.

"You always have this look, like you're somewhere else. When you look
at me,
it's like you're so into your thoughts. I don't know, it's hard to
explain...maybe..."

He cut her off. "Yes."

"Yes, what?" Confusion.

"Yes, I understand, I know what you're saying, pet."

Spike leaned in closer, his face near hers.

"Yes." He repeated once more, quietly.

Willow drew in a sharp breath. She stared in his blue eyes, they
pierced
through her own. An overwhelming feeling over took her.

Moments passed by. Willow shook it off.

"How long ago was it that you knew you loved her?"

Spike regarded the innocent redhead intently. He answered, his voice
full of
honesty.

"About a month."

-----

Willow gawked.

She couldn't force sounds from her mouth, the words wouldn't budge. She
sat
staring at him, at the relevation that had been confessed, her lips
slightly
parted.

She looked beautiful to Spike. Even that semi-stupid look on her face
made
her that more appealing.

"Me?" She squeaked.

"No. Not you." Spike chuckled. "The other redhead that sits with me day
and
night."

"Oh. Makes sense." Willow bit her lip. "This is a lot. A lot of
information." She looked up. "I think I'm going to throw up."

Spike frowned. "I always did have a way with the ladies."

"But...but you're a vampire..." She struggled.

"Right, pet, hence the fangs and blood-slurping." He offered patiently.

"Wow. Secret. Big one." She drew a hand to her mouth. "I feel bad. I've
been
moaning about Oz the past month and you've had a crush on me."

"Slow down, Willow, I don't expect you to act on it. It's a bit silly,
I
realize, me acting like a schoolboy of sorts. But I had to say it, I
couldn't help it anymore." He paused. "What happens now? You're call,
luv."

Willow looked up, a tiny smile passing over her lips. Her stare
returned to
his.

"Well, we are under the mistletoe."

-----

The End