The End

By Elka

Title: The End
Author: Elka
Email: [email protected]
Rating: PG
Part: 1 of ?
Order: Follows 'Inspired' in 'Soul Survivor'
Distribution: The regulars. Ask if you've got the wants.
Disclaimer: Joss is the wind beneath my wings.
Spoilers: General season four, no specific ep. Oz has left.
Spike is unbitey.
Author's Notes: Maria and all the others who asked. Inell,
my penis friend. You'll see a lot of shades of season two in
this, Becoming mostly.

Okay, in every fic I've written involving Giles, I've always
mentioned a landing in front of his front door. I watched an
episode over again last night and realise there was no landing.
So from now on, I want it to be known that in my fic world,
Giles has a large landing extending around the front door to
his little love nest. There it is. Read on.

-----

Willow ran blindly out into the rain. Stumbling as if in slow
motion, she had to get there, to see if it worked. The tears
stung her eyes. She couldn't control the emotions inside of
her. It was overwhelming the events of the evening. Almost
too much. It pierced her, like a sword in the stomach.

The thoughts in her head ran like rapid fire. Her conscience
screamed. Her lungs shouted for oxygen. She ran on, determined.
So determined.

The idea of being with Spike surprised even her, but the feeling
she had gotten couldn't go ignored, she had been alone, emotionally,
too long. Even with Oz, she knew the end was near. She could
see the signs. Willow wasn't stupid. Long before Veruca, she
simply didn't want to admit it to herself or anyone else. It
was the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong people.

But now, Spike had a soul, things couldn't help but work out.
She concentrated on convincing herself.

Willow burst through the front door of Giles' apartment, almost
tripping on a seated Spike. He sat, head in hands at the landing,
his clothes rumpled and torn, hair mussed.

She leaned down, touching his shoulder.

He slowly turned to face her, tears where a stony expression
should be. Eyes red-rimmed.

"What have you done?"

-----
"What have you done?" Spike asked, his usually strong voice,
frail and weak.

Willow sat quietly next to him. "Your soul..."

"...you restored it." He looked at her. "I get that part. Why?
How could you do that?"

"How could I? The spell. Except you can have moments of happiness,
I included that..."

"Bitch." He interrupted.

"What?" Willow searched his eyes, confused.

"Bitch." Spike repeated, his speech constrained.

"I didn't mean to do anything wrong." She tried. "You said
you couldn't love me because you don't have a soul."

"I could love you. I just didn't realise it, but it's too late."

"Too late for what?"

"I can't live like this."

"But you aren't living."

"You know what I mean. The killing, all the blood..." Spike
stopped.

"What about Angel?" Willow pleaded, trying to grasp onto something
stable in her now upside down world.

Spike couldn't stop the tears as his aware brain recalled his
past. "Angelus may have been badass vamp of the year, but I
did a lot worse. I killed in the worst ways I could think of.
Where do you think Spike came from? Railroad spikes." The salty
tears streamed down his face. "And before that, William the
Bloody. Two Slayers. Innocent girls, women, children. Anyone
in my path."

He turned away from her, hiding his face.

Willow felt her heart break.

-----

"I want to be with you."

"I can't be with you. I can't be with anyone. I've done too
much, I've seen too much. I can't. I can't."

Willow fell victim to the silence. She stared. Stared at the
creature she hated. Stared at the creature she loved more and
more as every moment passed by. Stared at how much of herself
she saw in him. Stared at the pain she created.

"You have to reverse it." He spoke barely above a whisper.

"I can't. It doesn't work that way."

"Then it's over." Spike murmured. "It's finally over."

"No. It's not. Angel did it, you can too."

"I told you. It's different." He stared at her solemnly. "You
have to do it. End it."

"The spell. I can't..."

"...me. You have to let me go, let me die."

"Never."

"Yes." Spike grabbed her wrists strongly, drawing them up.
"Do it. I love you Willow, I know that now, and I'm sorry,
I truly am. I feel the remorse, but more than what you bargained
for. There's no middle. There's no grey."

He collapsed from the stress, turning his face from her.

Willow couldn't speak, her pain running down her face like
a river.

"I love you, too, Spike."

A shaking hand raised the stake. She looked away.

-----

The End.
 
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